i wanna run away...
i know.... i'm complaining...but i'm tired of being lied to by friends and coworkers, i'm tired of working a job i hate, i'm sad because i don't know what GOD wants me to do with my life let alone what i wanna do in it...i just feel lost and broken...and i wanna run away.
30 June 2005
29 June 2005
I'm turning 30 in 6 days. 30!
I want to cry. That's sad I know.
Age doesn't matter…but ya know when you place those dang nabit goals in your life and they don't get met?..it really brings ya down. I hate goals…maybe my 30 year old resolution will be to never set any more goals…hmmm…I wonder if that would work?
30! I'm getting old...
17 June 2005
Who would have thought that I would enjoy road biking? Certainly not me. So my legs ache a bit and my knees want to give out every time I stand, my shoulders and biceps hurt, don’t ask me why, and my unmentionablez hurt in areas I never thought could hurt…but, I still had fun. If you don’t know…Steve somehow talked me into a tour called the MS 150. In the winter, I thought no problem, we'll jump on the saddle and bike every weekend and this won't be a problem. OK…so we went to maybe 5 spinning classed this winter and I went on 2 rides this spring…needless to say, I am completely out of shape. But still with every try to escape this tour, Steve encouraged me to go. I thought that maybe I'd strive for 40 miles a day, but I made it 44 the first day and 61 the second and I find myself asking…when do we get to go again. Am I crazy? It was hot and muggy and I can't express to you how many dead animals I not only saw but smelled, I almost fell off my bike twice, which wouldn't have been nice since I'm attached to my pedals and it was painful, but I still want to go again. I am crazy. I'm searching for a new bike...
ONE billion people live on less than ONE dollar a day. ONE by ONE, we can help them help themselves.
13 June 2005
By directing an additional ONE percent of the U.S. budget toward providing the most basic needs – and fighting the corruption that wastes precious resources –– we can help transform the futures and hopes of an entire generation in the poorest countries.
With an additional ONE percent of our budget:
•We can help prevent 10 million children from becoming AIDS orphans
•We can help get 104 million children into grade school.
•We can help provide water to almost 900 million people around the globe.
•We can save almost 6.5 million children under 5 from dying of diseases that could be prevented with low-cost measures like vaccination or a well for clean water.
•We can build a better, safer world for all.
ONE percent of the U.S. budget is $25 billion, and redirecting that much money would have to be done over time. Directed to honest governments, private charities and faith-based organizations, this support would provide the tools and resources they need to really make a difference. American support would be part of a compact with poor countries who fight corruption and use their own resources to help their people out of poverty. American leadership would be an example for rich countries in Europe and Asia to do their share to help the poorest people in the world. Interested?? Go to www.one.org.
taken from the one site.
10 June 2005
I can still remember all the jokes made of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker in the late 80's? And of course, even as a young teenager, I remember judging the family. I knew nothing of the Bakkers, really. Other than what I picked up from elders around me or on TV. But this last few weeks, I've had a huge wake up call. A few years ago I started following Jay Bakkers ministry in Atlanta, Revolution. I've never been to Revolution but when I heard of them through a friend I had to check out the website.
I was immediately taken by the rawness of the ministry. Religion Kills is a major theme and seeing how corrupt religion can be, this belief truly took root in my life. A few weeks ago I picked up the book 'Son of a Preacher Man', Jay's autobiography. What an amazing read. I recommend everyone pick it up. I'm not going to talk much about it because I want you to read it. But what I learned though reading it, is how much I have not only judged in the past but how much I continue to judge people and just how much judgement can destroy joy.
We're brought into this world to unconditionally love. Love all people, all races, all shapes and sizes…yet we don't. We live in a constant state of judgement. The Bakkers and countless others have been judged for years. People screw up. We all do. Whether it be big or small, televised or not. We all screw up. Who are we to judge? Why is it so hard to say, 'ya know what, you screwed up and you need to fix it. But I still love ya and I forgive you.' Why is that so hard? And not only do we hold resentment for the one person that screwed up, we tend to then resent the whole family, because ya know if 1 person screws up, the rest of the family are failures too. What is wrong with this world?
We're suppose to forgive! Walk with CHRIST; not judge because you think this way or that. All four of the Bakkers are leading people to CHRIST. Isn't that what it's all about?? The Bakkers are loving people unconditionally. Even after all the crap they've been dealt, they still unconditionally accept people. Maybe we should stop judging and start looking though the eyes of GOD. Maybe then, we would finally start to see the love in the world, rather than continuing to sink in the quicksand of hate.
Jim, Tammy Fay, Tammy Sue and Jay, Thank you for rising from the ashes and showing people the true love of GOD. Thank you Jay for your messages, they're life changing. I pray you continue to be lead by the Spirit and I thank you for letting GOD lead you through your book, so HE could show me my own sin. The sin of Judgement.
So, I must admit. I'm on a journey, a journey for optimal health. I'm searching for answers that will keep me healthy and although it's hard to change and at times, hard to let go of that comfort food, I feel it's a must. In my journey I've read 2 books; Patient Heal Thyself and The Makers Diet. Amazing books that I highly recommend. Although I'm very disappointed that the nutritional supplements, which are talked of so highly in the books are so astronomically pricey. BUT…nonetheless, the information is life changing. And I've found a cheap site…www.vitacost.com A great site to find cheap organic essentials like burts bees and other goodies!
I've been realizing all the junk I put into my body…all the chemicals, hormones, and more silent health destructors like sugar…It's really sad. The US seems to be filled with the unhealthiest, chunkiest and disease ridden people…so many are overweight, have diabetes, cancer, stomach problems, colon problems, thyroid disease…the list goes on and on; so the question is why? Why are we the most unhealthiest? Yeah, we have the most fast food and we eat way to much, but we also have the all the folks on the newest fad diets and work out junkies. So, that brings me back to the food debate. With our freezers and refrigerators packed with weight loss frozen dinners and low - no fat, low carb foods, why are we still fat and sick? Hmmmm…
Our food is loaded with crap. Crap that causes disease and what's sad is that so many people are completely unaware. People look at packaging and see words like 'healthy', 'whole wheat', nutritious'…but they're usually not. If you flip the package over and read the ingredient label you see it's loaded with enriched flours, high fructose corn syrup or chemically derived sweeteners like splenda, and nutra sweet. Weight loss foods are notorious for this. Something we think is healthy is anything but! It's so scary. Do we really know what these sugar alternatives are?? Splenda says it's made from sugar…but if it doesn't have the caloric count that sugar has…IT WAS MODIFIED!! How was it modified? I heard a few months ago that the UK won't approve splenda because it causes cancer. And yet I see it everywhere I go….Another concern…is our milk supply. Did you know that our cows live in completely deplorable conditions and because of this they're pumped full of antibiotics to keep them 'healthy' and then to increase their production they're given RBGH, bovine growth hormone. Currently the US is having a problem with antibiotic resistant bacteria…I wonder why…and what exactly does this RBGH do? A breast feeding mother is told not to take certain drugs, drink caffeine or drink diet soda…but yet we're injecting drugs into our milk source and then feeding it to our children…I watched The Corporation last night A MUST SEE!!, the UK AND Canada doesn’t allow cows to be injected by RBGH. Again, because of all the problems it causes. But the US does. Makes ya think…Why is the US allowing all of these chemicals to be introduced into our food supply?
We need to take back our food! We need to take back our health! I know it’s expensive to go organic. I know it's inconvenient to drive to the lone natural food store on the other end of town, but I implore you to change your eating habits. Read these books and be informed. Another excellent book is 'What Would Jesus Eat'. This book goes into depths to explain food processes in the US. From oil processing (which includes toluene) to meat processes that may make you turn into a vegetarian. Get informed and know what's in your food. Read ingredient labels and reject chemicals and hormones in our food supply.