my breaking point
I'm on the brink of losing it every time I try to put Asher down for his nap. He used to be such a great sleeper. I could nurse him, place him awake in his crib and he'd fall asleep. It's now a wrestling match almost every time. It starts with biting. Over and over again. No matter what I do, he continues to bite me. I pull him off tell him no biting, that it hurts mama and then latch him back on; I yell...loudly NO! NO BITING!!; I pull him off and put him in his crib and leave for a few minutes; I've even flicked his cheek. But he continues to bite me. He will now even look up when he's doing it so he can see my reaction. A few times I've pulled him off, he's actually look at me and chomped his teeth down as almost to intimidate me with his chompers. Then, when he's finally given up his biting techniques and finishes nursing, he will fight me holding him as I try to rock him to sleep. So I lay him down in his crib and he cries. I pick him up and he starts fighting my snuggles again. I lay him back down, tell him I love him but it's time for his nap and leave his room but he immediately stands up in his crib, jumps up and down repeatedly either laughing or crying. This goes on for up to 30 minutes. I go in, settle him down...he wrestles me the entire time, so I lay him back down and he stands up. Over and over again. Sometimes he'll even throw in a bite or 2 on my shoulder for good measure.
When I've all but had it and have seriously considered closing the door and leaving my house so I can't hear him (No, I really won't do this, but the thought has entered my brain.) I try one more time. And usually though he fights my holding him, which he used to love, he's so tired he can't fight anymore and plops his head down on my shoulder. He'll then sleep for up to 2 hours. That part is nice.
What can I do? If it was just the fighting I think I could handle it but the biting is killing me. I know it's gotta be hard for him as he chews all his food so why shouldn't he be able to chew while nursing, but I know he knows better. I'm just at my breaking point. I want to continue nursing him, but I'm seriously thinking about giving it up. This has been a 2 week struggle and it's really, seriously starting to wear me down. I'm resenting him. I used to love our nighttime and nap time nursing and now, I dread it. I wonder if it will be a good experience or a dreadful one. I want Steve to do it, but Asher's never gone down without nursing so how could I just take it away from him all at once? And I truly believe that I would miss it as much as he does. I'm just not ready to give this up yet. I love our closeness. I love knowing that he needs me and wants me. He wants to nurse and he's just too young, in my opinion, to take it away from him...But how do I change this biting behavior? What am I doing wrong? I feel like I have this wonderful little child all day with the exception of getting him down to sleep. It's draining me. I've had to leave him in his room to calm myself down. I hate that feeling. The feeling that I'm about to do something I'm going to really regret if I don't leave the situation at once. I shouldn't have this feeling with my child. I should have this abundance of patience and understanding and knowing surrounding me at all times...shouldn't I? I shouldn't have to leave the room of my screaming child because all I want is to lash out. I feel like a failure.
When I've all but had it and have seriously considered closing the door and leaving my house so I can't hear him (No, I really won't do this, but the thought has entered my brain.) I try one more time. And usually though he fights my holding him, which he used to love, he's so tired he can't fight anymore and plops his head down on my shoulder. He'll then sleep for up to 2 hours. That part is nice.
What can I do? If it was just the fighting I think I could handle it but the biting is killing me. I know it's gotta be hard for him as he chews all his food so why shouldn't he be able to chew while nursing, but I know he knows better. I'm just at my breaking point. I want to continue nursing him, but I'm seriously thinking about giving it up. This has been a 2 week struggle and it's really, seriously starting to wear me down. I'm resenting him. I used to love our nighttime and nap time nursing and now, I dread it. I wonder if it will be a good experience or a dreadful one. I want Steve to do it, but Asher's never gone down without nursing so how could I just take it away from him all at once? And I truly believe that I would miss it as much as he does. I'm just not ready to give this up yet. I love our closeness. I love knowing that he needs me and wants me. He wants to nurse and he's just too young, in my opinion, to take it away from him...But how do I change this biting behavior? What am I doing wrong? I feel like I have this wonderful little child all day with the exception of getting him down to sleep. It's draining me. I've had to leave him in his room to calm myself down. I hate that feeling. The feeling that I'm about to do something I'm going to really regret if I don't leave the situation at once. I shouldn't have this feeling with my child. I should have this abundance of patience and understanding and knowing surrounding me at all times...shouldn't I? I shouldn't have to leave the room of my screaming child because all I want is to lash out. I feel like a failure.
Comments
Second, Noah went through a biting stage for a little while. It didn't last long because I think I got some good advice. Instead of pulling away, which totally hurts way worse, I would push his face into me. It would pretty much make the bite release, stunned him and he didn't like it at all. I only had to do that about 3 or 4 times and he stopped. I remember the first time he bit me... wow! It's the toe curling, wanting to throw this kid across the room, screaming pain. It actually caught me off guard and I pinched his cheek. I felt SO bad! I couldn't believe I did it. He obviously let go, started crying and had a little red spot on his cheek. I felt like the worse mom in the entire world. See, ALL of us moms have those "bad mommy moments" that we could share.
Hang in there! Just think about those moms that don't nurse because those are "for their husband." :-P You are doing a great thing just nursing up until now.
Would Asher take a bottle of breastmilk? An idea could be, if he continually bites you, you can take him off and give him the bottle. Then after he sucks on it a few minutes try nursing again. If he bites take him off give him a bottle. Never done this before and not sure of negatives of it, but it's an idea.
I've been at those, "I can't handle this anymore. I was not meant to be a mommie." moments before. What helped was crying it out to God...verbally...acknowledging my weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9
"'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit', says the Lord Almighty." Zec 4:6
Love you lots!! Call me anytime you want to cry or scream :) I'll listen and cry and scream right along with you!!
You're doing great. Just because your kid can drive you batty doesn't mean ANYTHING. God's working good things for you and in you... and that's pretty much never an easy task...
Hang in there, chica. You're doing awesome. We'll have to go on a MamaDate when Haze and I get back from TC. I could use a few (dozen) brownies.
Tali, have you changed positions while nursing. Asher started doing that when we laid down to nurse, and that's how we use to nurse most nights. Once he learned to roll over to crawl, we had to change positions. I haven't been able to lay and nurse him for about a month. I miss it!!! But once I switched to the rocking chair, he was able to pay more attention. I think our babies are just no longer babies and their little minds and bodies are always on the go.
Shanna, I haven't pumped since October! Crazy. I'll try it if it gets worse though. Good advice. And thanks for the verses.
Katie, as always, brownies sound marvelous!