progress

Today felt different. I was happy playing with Asher for the first time since losing Selah. I really enjoyed laughing with him. We had 2 unexpected visitors and both warmed my heart. I didn't think I was ready, but it felt good to converse with people.

But now as I'm settling down for bed, I'm feeling sad again. I miss Selah. The darkness isn't there, nor is the heaviness, but the hurt is. The emptiness is. The pang of sorrow when I hear about others excitement about pregnancy and babies is. I just miss Selah so much. She was taken too soon from my life. I feel like such a little girl for saying this, but it's just not fair. I can't say anything else, but how much I miss her tonight. I wish I was able to feel her kicking me once again. I wish I could feel how velvety soft her skin was again.

I miss you baby girl. I'll miss you 'til the day I die.