house wife
this marks my 1st official day of a non-working woman. a house wife...soon to be an at home mom. it's an exciting time, but it feels strange too. i don't have a little one to take care of yet. i have one to get ready for, but i don't feel the nesting thing yet, so the drive isn't there to 'prepare'. steve told me last night how jealous he was that i get to stay at home now. that made me sad. i wish there was a way that i could work full time these next few months and he could stay at home...but there isn't. i wish he loved his job and looked forward to it. but for the most part, he doesn't. but who does...
last night i had almost a panic attack. i couldn't settle down, i kept thinking about work and my boss and all the things i wanted to say but didn't. it was 4am. i couldn't fall back asleep until 6. it was silly and horrible. my mind just wouldn't turn off. that part of my life is over. i don't have to deal with it any longer. i don't agree with how i and many others have been treated, but it's done. why was i thinking about it?
why was i thinking about what i should have told my boss? why would i waste more of my time with someone who obviously doesn't care or would even take anything i have to say to heart? it's just so silly. i chose to stay quiet for a reason. i chose to keep my words hidden within my mouth. and i know i made the right decision. so why was i all in worry last night about it? so silly...
so what do i do with my new found time? how do i use it properly? today, i ordered our cable and ate breakfast and blogged...later i have to run to riv and target...maybe lowes...tomorrow is crammed full with dr. appointments and co-op orders and wednesday i can work on ministry stuff...i want to make sure i keep busy. i want to keep busy so my husband doesn't get too jealous. i don't want him to think i'm sitting around watching soaps and eating bon bons...which sound kinda yummy actually! i want to paint, but i know i shouldn't. i still have the master bathroom and bedrom to paint.
i think i need to make myself a project list. to think that we may have a babe in this house within 2 months is crazy! i need to use this time well!
tomorrow i have an ultrasound. i'll post pics if there are any good ones!
last night i had almost a panic attack. i couldn't settle down, i kept thinking about work and my boss and all the things i wanted to say but didn't. it was 4am. i couldn't fall back asleep until 6. it was silly and horrible. my mind just wouldn't turn off. that part of my life is over. i don't have to deal with it any longer. i don't agree with how i and many others have been treated, but it's done. why was i thinking about it?
why was i thinking about what i should have told my boss? why would i waste more of my time with someone who obviously doesn't care or would even take anything i have to say to heart? it's just so silly. i chose to stay quiet for a reason. i chose to keep my words hidden within my mouth. and i know i made the right decision. so why was i all in worry last night about it? so silly...
so what do i do with my new found time? how do i use it properly? today, i ordered our cable and ate breakfast and blogged...later i have to run to riv and target...maybe lowes...tomorrow is crammed full with dr. appointments and co-op orders and wednesday i can work on ministry stuff...i want to make sure i keep busy. i want to keep busy so my husband doesn't get too jealous. i don't want him to think i'm sitting around watching soaps and eating bon bons...which sound kinda yummy actually! i want to paint, but i know i shouldn't. i still have the master bathroom and bedrom to paint.
i think i need to make myself a project list. to think that we may have a babe in this house within 2 months is crazy! i need to use this time well!
tomorrow i have an ultrasound. i'll post pics if there are any good ones!
Comments
I see that you wanted to paint - I love to paint so call me when you're ready and I would love to help you!!