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Showing posts from August, 2012

Crazy Town...just another babyloss confession...

After living with and raising two healthy boys for the past four years, I still freak out all the time that they will die in their sleep.  Today Greyson was still sleeping at 4:45.  He didn't make one sound from the time I put him down around 1 and I was starting to worry.  He normally naps for 2-3 hours, but he had been sleeping nearly 4 hours.  I was going to post on facebook if I should wake a sleeping baby or not...but then my first thought was..."what if he's dead and then I have to let everyone know we've lost another babe.".  

I know.  I'm crazy.  So...

I went upstairs, praying the whole time, and crept into his room and touched his arm.  Cold.  His skin was cold.  Too cold.  My heart sank.  I couldn't see him breathe.  I couldn't hear him breather.  I touched his tummy and still, he didn't move.  He was still.  I panicked. I tried to feel his breath...and still nothing.  

Freak out!

And then it happened.  He moved.  He rolled over and then he…

Memorial Ink

In two days I am finally getting memorial tattoo's for my beautiful baby girls.  I've thought a ton about this.  I've never gotten a tattoo before.  It's something I've wanted for so long.  I have a ton of friends that are inked and I find them beautiful.  But I've never found anything that I've wanted to place on my body forever...but then Jorai passed...and then Selah.  I thought about getting tattoo's of their names, and of their foot prints or their hand prints...but then I found it.  Something that represented them perfectly and something I knew that I could look at for the rest of my life and love.  A sweet little swirly, girly heart.  Two actually.  A similarly different one on each wrist with Jorai's name under the one on my left wrist, Selah on my right.  

I've gotten two questions when I've told people about my memorial tattoo's.  One is simply, why am I getting them.  The other is if I'll get tattoo's for my sons as wel…