Showing posts from March, 2008

should pregnant women really be allowed to drive?

not that i'm trying to have my rights taken away, but i've really been thinking about this lately. within the past 3 weeks or so, my range of movement has vastly decreased. with my girth and the child's length and mass growing at an ever increasing rate, i'm finding it more and more difficult to twist. which is normally ok, but when you have to check for blind spots or back out of a parking spot without hitting a car or person, it's hard. i do my best, but the more i twist, the more i feel pressure from within and my torso just stops.

i'm assuming this will only be getting more and more difficult as june approaches, so again i pose the question, should i be driving? i'm being careful, but i don't want to run anyone over either!

as a precaution, if you see me pulling out of a parking space...ya may want to steer clear of me!

house wife

this marks my 1st official day of a non-working woman. a house wife...soon to be an at home mom. it's an exciting time, but it feels strange too. i don't have a little one to take care of yet. i have one to get ready for, but i don't feel the nesting thing yet, so the drive isn't there to 'prepare'. steve told me last night how jealous he was that i get to stay at home now. that made me sad. i wish there was a way that i could work full time these next few months and he could stay at home...but there isn't. i wish he loved his job and looked forward to it. but for the most part, he doesn't. but who does...

last night i had almost a panic attack. i couldn't settle down, i kept thinking about work and my boss and all the things i wanted to say but didn't. it was 4am. i couldn't fall back asleep until 6. it was silly and horrible. my mind just wouldn't turn off. that part of my life is over. i don't have to deal with it…

tv junkie

we've broken down. we're getting dish network. after 4-5 years of no cable, with the exception of our basic 10 channel cable (with the addition of 10 local channels), we're caving in. it was never a 'i'm too good for tv' thing. it was a kim is a penny pincher thing and is way too cheap to waste money thing. i always wanted more channels, although i do have a problem with tv addiction! i just never wanted to pay for it. well, here's the skinny...

we have comcast for our basic cable and internet. and i hate it. the cable comes in and out in flashes and the internet is just too expensive i think...then, last fall we started talking about dvr's and how cool they are...well, to save money we bought an old tivo on ebay that works w/o service...but when we use it, it disables our bleed through tlc channel. so that was a bust, seeing i watch tlc almost exclusively.

to top it off, steve has had this christian broadcasting satellite service for 4-5 years …

grief, loss and blessings

i've been thinking a lot lately about pain. why people have to go through so much, why some go through so little. i look at the pain steve and i have traveled through this past year, how we're still traveling through it, and though at times it's all consuming to us, in the broad scope of things, it's so minuscule to what others have faced.

my dear friend lost her baby boy when he was only 3 days old and since losing him, has gone through some miscarriages. she's so strong, so positive. in fact, she seems to be the strongest woman i know with a faith and positive attitude that shines on everyone around. yet this latest loss has taken an effect on her that's hard for me to see. i feel her pain like no other. i sense her, crumbling in a way. as i used to feel crumbled. her pain crushes me.

i was talking to a woman at church a few weeks ago about my pregnancy and losing Jorai and she told me that she too lost a child in late term and since then she lost m…

um, did i really just win this?

a few months ago, while i was reading my fit pregnancy mag, i saw an ad to sign up to win a natural crib mattress...seeing i never win anything, i signed up already knowing i wouldn't i got am email from said magazine telling me i won this...which values at $375! i want to believe it...but i'm a bit skeptical.

i have to wait for some paperwork to sign and then when they get it back, they're going to send me the mattress...we'll see where this all ends, but we may just have scored a super sweet mattress!! maybe now, i can find a giveaway for some cloth diapers!

too funny! i'm shocked...i truly hope this isn't a scam or something!! shock here...i need a moment!

to help or not to help

have you ever tried to help someone only to walk away hurt, wondering what you did wrong?  
i like to help.  that's one of my things.  i've always wanted to be 'there' if someone needs me.  but some days, in those 'helping' times, i feel as if i'm not helping.  sometimes it's not until later, where i realize that maybe i didn't help.  and in those times, i feel like shit. is it me?  have i done or said something wrong?  or is it the person who is so blind to their pain and sin that all their fingers are pointed towards others, instead of themselves?
these situations, the times where i feel guilty for trying to help someone,  make me gun shy. it makes me not want to help.  it toys with my already low self esteem.  it makes me think that i'm only harming and not helping.  it makes me want to run back into my cave and stop reaching out.  and i know that's wrong.  
we're all just so broken.  people manipulate and try to control situations.  we&…


back in the day, steve was addicted to a show.  i've heard about this show for years now.  how good it was, how much i missed out...well, i found it at cadl and rented the first season.  the show?  roswell...
i'm on episode 7 and now, i'm addicted.  the funny thing is, how ever silly it sounds, i kinda feel like steve and i just got a little bit closer.  i know it sounds stupid, but there was always this one thing, that he talked about, that i never understood.  and yeah, it was some silly high-school alien show, but it was still something i couldn't relate to.  i'm being silly i know, but it's still kinda cool to have that now...that connection to just another thing. 
i'm such a girl.

29 weeks 1 day

but who's counting...
the babe is starting to run out of room.  i can tell kix is outgrowing his/her home within me.  i feel tight and huge.  my belly is harder than normal and it more dense, if that makes sense.  i didn't have this feeling with Jorai.  i'm sure there will be a lot of these new feelings in the coming weeks.  when i bend over, i feel stuck, as if i can't bend that way anymore.  as if the baby is getting stuck and i have to stop and rearrange before proceeding. i feel the baby in my ribs all the time now.  it's crazy! i wonder what's awaiting me in the coming weeks!!  
when the babe moves it's no longer little jobs and kicks.  it's more slow turns and butt protrusions.  it's a cool new feeling.  i can actually feel baby parts for long moments.  it's fun to try to figure out what i'm feeling. and i'm probably calling his butt his head and vice versa, but it's still fun.  when i talk to the baby, sometimes he/she responds …

spinet piano

we scored a free baldwin spinet piano today!  i've been searching for one that i/we could afford for about 4 years.  i found a free baby grand piano a few years ago, but seeing that it would take up the entire living room, we thought it'd be best to now, we got exactly what we want...and it's free!  now i just need to learn how to play the thing!!  oh, and we have to move it!  oye!!

sunny snow

i have a sneaky suspicion that the birds outside are pissed.  i keep hearing their doesn't sound like much of a happy song.  poor little birds.  coming back home for the spring of michigan only to wake to a winter wonderland.  it makes me want to go build them a sweat lodge to wait for the warmth of spring to come again.  
at least the sun breaks through the chill of snow.

showering together while pregnant

is not recommended unless you have a 2 person shower or are extremely little.

steve and i like to conserve water! what can i say?!? but this is getting more and more difficult. we haven't showered together in a few weeks so last night it was a bit of a surprised when i almost fell out when we were swapping positions. as we were trying to slide past one another for the opposite side of the shower, my bulging tummy kinda got in the way...and with the slipperiness of our bodies and all...i was almost pushed right outta the tub! oh my!! it was very scary...i think showering together may have to stop for the next few's just too scary!

bummer...maybe we just need a bigger shower!


there are a lot of times where i don't feel the baby move, but i can see my belly ungulate or if my hand is resting on my belly, i can feel it. but i don't feel it from the inside...does that make sense? if i can see it, shouldn't i be able to feel the baby move inside? i find this bizarre. i was just standing with some co-workers when all of a sudden they started exclaiming 'the babies moving!'. i hadn't felt anything but as soon as i looked down, i saw the undulation. i just find this so strange. why aren't i feeling all the movement.

now that i look back, it kinda makes sense. there have been so many days where i haven't felt a crazy amount of movement. but as soon as i sit down and try to really feel for the movements, there's tons. maybe i'm just not in tune with my belly as much as i thought. this is very interesting...

Jesus glasses

i am so thankful to have a Jesus sticker on the back hatch of my car.  simply having that sticker has stopped me from going berserk at someone time after time, while driving. the last thing i'd want is to act like a fool and make a scene and know that everyone has now looked at my actions and related them to Christ. 
today as i was driving in construction there were people driving up the left hand lane even when they knew it was closed.  they knew they needed to get over, but as the fast paced, non-patient people that we are, people just can't help themselves.  i was really starting to get pissed.  here i was waiting and getting backed up because of all these people trying to drive fast up to the point where they had to get over.  i wanted to ride the middle line so no one could pass me.  i was so close to it.  but every time i looked in my rear view mirror and saw someone closing in on me, i also saw Jesus.

i don't know why it's easier to control myself in my car...i ne…

are there feet in my ribs?

for the past few days i keep feeling pressure under my ribs at time's. it comes and goes but i usually feel it when i'm bent over or slouched. all of a sudden i feel as if something or someone has migrated and wedged themselves under my right rib cage. as soon as i elongate my torso the feeling leaves and then a moment later i feel a swoosh in my tummy. i have a sneaky suspicion that this child will be a very long child. and i have a sneaky suspicion that these last few weeks may become pretty uncomfortable soon...i can tell that this child is larger than Jorai was at 28 weeks. i never felt this full and tight and i never felt anything in my ribs. oye. i'm loving every minute. even the heartburn and pelvis pain. nothing can take away the joy that i have a healthy child within me again and a renewed hope that i may one day get to hold a warm, screaming baby and watch my husband change his first ever diaper!

dinner and dreams

dinner was amazing last night.  the only thing that would have made it better was if we could have shared a bottle of wine.  alas, maybe in a few months...steve had the chippino and i had a shrimp, scallop and potato dish with an amazing mushroom sauce  super yummy.  we just sat there and talked and enjoyed the meal slowly.  it was romantic and nice.  we need to do that more often.
when we got home we started the movie southland tales.  something steve has been waiting for...i lasted 30 minutes and then couldn't stand any more.  it was trash.  so i went up to bed.  i had been super tired all day anyway because the night before i didn't get much sleep.
although i had a great night of sleep, i also had 2 crappy where steve told me that he didn't think he wanted to be married to me any longer and another where he told me that he had an affair. i hate those dreams!  i know they're common in pregnancy but they suck!  ugh.

upcoming doctor visits

it looks like me and the babe will be put through a battery of tests in the remaining 11 weeks.  which is good.  they'll all be precautionary, nothing invasive but i'll be spending a lot more time at the dr's office!  here's my schedule:
in 2 weeks i have a non-stress test (nst) which tracks the baby's heart beat and movements and my uterine contractions for about 20-30 minutes.  the cool thing about this is, unless something crazy, like another aneurysm happens, it can predict that the baby will stay healthy for a week-10 days. i'll also have an ultrasound to track the baby's growth and my normal ob appointment 2 weeks after that i have an ob visit and another nst then i go to weekly appointments of: nst nst, ob visit and ultrasound nst and ob visit nst and ob appointment nst, ob visit and ultrasound nst and ob visit  nst and ob visit...this will be on my due date..hopefully i'll already have had kix by then!
i had my first nst today.  kix was pissed.  the tech h…

baby clothes

i was going through Jorai's clothes today to see what we could use for this baby.  seeing that Jorai was due in late august and this child is due in early june, i'm afraid that i may need to go out and do a bit of shopping!  we have so many nice warm outfits but i think they may never fit kix.  some might, but most, unless we have an extremely cold fall, i'm thinking will never fit this child.  which is fine.  i'll save them for the next.  
i'm glad we're waiting for find out the sex of our child.  there are so few surprises anymore and really, does it really matter as long as they come a screaming into this world?  but a part of me really wants to know.  i'm so 50/50 on the sex it's frustrating.  steve and i were so sure Jorai was a girl.  when i do look for clothes, i see all these cute frilly girlie clothes, or cool sportin' boy clothes...and i always have to go with the gender neutral yellow or sage. this child's closet is full of yellow and …

baby kix video

i think i may try tonight to capture kix moving around within me.  we never tried to get Jorai on video and i wish we had.  i remember how excited steve and i were to feel her move within me.  and more, i remember the stillness of my belly after she was gone.  it was gut wrenching.  i wish i had video of her alive and healthy within me.
not that i plan on losing this child!  but it's just another memory i want to create.  i always love seeing video of pregnant belly's moving.  i can sit and watch my own for hours.  the miracle of a child growing within a person is amazing to me.  i still can't grasp the power of God to create such a life within me.  it's truly amazing.  
and really, i think i need proof that this child is a wild child!  some times i wonder if people believe me that kix is such a mover and we'll see if i can capture something. stay tuned...

baby kicks

kix was pretty quiet yesterday at work.  all day i kept really trying to feel movement, but most of the time my belly was still.  it was starting to make me nervous.  i was thinking about running into the er for an ultrasound.  but then i came home and ate dinner.  with the massive cancer sore i have on the side of my tongue, there's not much i can i had a bowl of yogurt w/ granola and 2 blueberry muffins.  after i ate, i laid down and started counting kicks.  as usual, kix produced 10 movements in under 15 minutes.  all night kix was active and this morning as i type, i feel swirl after swirl.  
sometimes i wonder if my child has outgrown their surroundings and so he can't move as much as he wants.  and then all it takes is for my skin to stretch or my uterus or whatever to grow for him to get his move on.  all i know is kix was pretty quiet yesterday and today is swirling around like a banshee.  crazy kix.  i can't wait to meet you!  are you really going to be as…


many people ask me what i've been craving, and i really don't have an answer. there are days where someone will mention a food that i then must have, but craving something in general i've never been able to pinpoint...until just now.  here it is, 7:40pm and the thing that sounds most yummy to me is blueberry muffins.  so what am i about to do?  yup. make homemade blueberry muffins.  ridiculous...
in the mornings, my breakfast is blueberry waffles or pancakes...always with the blueberries.  so i guess, the thing i crave most is blueberries.  strange.  i thought i'd crave sweets or salts or something strange or bad for me...but instead i crave blueberries.  
for some reason, this doesn't surprise me.  maybe in a few weeks it'll be blueberries and pickles.  now that would be a story!


i just got off the phone with a lady from a very prominent non-profit organization. she was asking me to participate in an upcoming fund-raiser, which i can't she was just chit chatting with me. after me telling her that i was 7 months pregnant, she asked asked if this was my first. this is the second time i've been asked this question this morning! my response was no, that we had lost a daughter in june. her response? 'so technically, this is your first child then.'. i let it go, but immediately shut down to her and quickly got off the phone. what i wanted to say was...! technically, it's our second. we currently have a child and are pregnant with our second. our daughter's name was Jorai Mae. She was 28 weeks, 4 days old when we delivered her. She was beautiful and although she's not physically with us now, she's in our hearts and thoughts daily.please, please, please...if you know someone who has lost a child, at any age, …

28 weeks

so, we're here. 28 weeks. in 3 days i'll be right where was when i stopped feeling movement. in four days we'll be at the same point when we found out that we had lost our little girl. what's interesting is that during my last 28th week, i had to get my blood drawn on a monday which is exactly where i was today at 9am, getting my blood drawn. then it was on wednesday i had my last dr's appointment where we heard her little heart beating for the last time. i have a dr's appointment this wednesday too. weird.

i have a feeling that this weekend will be pretty hard for me. i have a feeling that i'm really going to be conscious about the baby's movement. it was on a saturday that we made the dreaded drive to the er. i was bawling the entire time. this saturday afternoon may be really hard for me.

steve and i are going out to dinner on tuesday to celebrate the 28th week milestone. it was our dr's suggestion. as part a remembrance and another par…

red winged black bird

i've always loved this bird.

back when i believed in such things, i thought this bird was 'my animal' guide so to speak. american indian culture believes animals come into your life at certain times can show you the way...i used to believe in this. my animal, i use to believe was the red winged black day i was bombarded by one about 5 times in a park. i was with a man that later crushed me...maybe i should have listened to that bird and ran! HA!!

anyway...the red winged black bird, among others, also signify the coming of spring. yesterday morning, on my drive into work, i saw my first of the season. it brought a smile to my face. the thought of spring fills me with joy. i want to be able to throw up the windows and let the fresh air fill this house again. and today, i kept hearing morning doves outside. i know there will be cold and snow in the near future...but i also sense spring in the air. warm breezes and sunshine. and it makes me smile tha…

pregnancy loss support

i just got my recent share newsletter today in the mail. every time i read it, i remember Jorai and my heart leaps out for all those affected by pregnancy and infant loss. the newsletter comes out every 2 months. it's packed with stories and memorials and research and events. this newsletter comes from the share pregnancy and infant loss support, inc. their mission is:
'to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.'they have tons of support services, a message board, research and memorials. it's just a really good site that raises awareness. if you've gone through pregnancy or child loss or know someone who has, this is an amazing site and i encourage anyone who has gone through a loss like this to request an informational packet and start getting these newsletters. the newsletters are free for a year for anyone who has experienced a loss. they've really he…

i give

i've been using igive for a bit now. it's amazing. there are 690 stores that participate...stores like apple, home depot, babies-r-us, starbucks, old navy, overstock, rei and sears...just to name a few. they give any where from .4%-25% back to an organizations of your choice, just by shopping at their site...there are tons of causes listed. if you don't see your cause, you can ask that it be added.

all you have to do is go through the 'mall' to the store of your choosing. you shop as you normally would on-line, purchase your merchandise and all of a sudden you get an email from igive that states they have gotten your purchase and that a certain amount of money has been given to your charity. super easy. super cool. you don't have to do anything. you buy stuff already on-line. just sign up for this and when you shop at a place that gives a percentage to your organization, make sure you shop through the 'mall'. it cost's you nothing!

please g…

gross porn

i don't think i want to know what this is...but someone just came to my blog after googling 'gross porn'. how'd they come to me? i blogged on the craig gross porn debate.

i wonder what people think when they come to my blog when searching for something. do they get frustrated because it's not what they want or do they read a few entries? here are my most recent stats of who's coming to this blog while searching for something else...crazy... invisible children netti pot phoenix rising porn pain using netti pot lansing and person's name blocked out to provide anonymity.. really gross porn what is a netti pot vitacost rocks phoenix3rising stealing birth certificate dead baby michigan big push for midwifery greenhouse birth center stillborn child credits mongolian bbq phoenix

pelvis pain

upon waking up this morning i swung my leg off the pillow i rest it on only to hear a loud pop and a sensation of, well... major pain.  it wasn't fun.  my pelvis has been given me troubles now for a few months.  it had gotten better, but lately the pain has come back.  it's been a different pain though.  there's no pressure, just pain right where the 2 sides of the pelvis meet.  it's a place you can't really rub or point's in that's quite painful.  yesterday i was fine all day but some days it's bad. it hurts so much that when i stand from a sitting position, it takes me awhile to take the first step as if knowing the pain that's coming stops me.  it's jarring.  i've been trying to stretch and do the exercises my PT gave me, but nothing seems to work.  i think i need to go back and see my DO. something just isn't right. knowing i have 12 more weeks, i want to make sure i get this fixed.  i guess the good news is that …

you know you're pregnant when...

you cry to skid row's 18 and life...yes, i have to admit that this morning while trying to stay awake on the drive to hastings i put my ipod on shuffle. after hitting feel good inc by gorillaz, which was a great song to wake up to, the next song to hit was 18 and life. i can't believe that song made me cry. i'm ridiculous. it's silly.

last night i almost roasted to death. i woke with steve pressed right up against me. i was drenched in sweat. my feet were blazing. it was crazy. i didn't sleep well at all. i haven't been for a while. every now and then i get a good 2-3 straight hours of sleep, but usually i'm up every hour or so just from being uncomfortable. but nothing like last night. i felt like i was in an oven all night. it was horrible. i've been hot all day. and kix has been crazy all day.


i'm in-between sizes right now...both on my top and lower half.  it sucks. i can fit into medium pants and they fit everywhere but my lower belly.  so all day long, if i'm wearing them, i feel these little kicks and jobs right where my pants are tight.  i feel bad.  i feel like i'm cramping my kids crib. but when i go up the the large, they're pretty big.  they're comfy and roomy, but large.  so i'm in a bit of a quandary.  do i stick with the pants that look halfway decent but cramp my kids style, or, do i wear pants that are baggy and give the kid some more room?
i went big.  they're so comfortable.  i was having to change into sweats as soon as i came home to give the kid some relief, but know, kix has all the room he or she wants.  room to do flips and turn and whatever else.  they may look a bit large, but that's ok.  i'm thinking i'll probably grow into them anyway.
and then with the tops...what is it with pregnancy tops?  we all know that t…

carpenter in my freezer

for about an hour this morning i was wondering which one of my neighbors was out hammering..and then after following the noise, i realized the noise was coming from our freezer.  it's this constant tapping noise.  i peeked inside and noticed that there was frozen water over some of the food, the tray under the water/ice dispenser was full, there was a puddle on the floor and the ice container was one solid mass of ice. i cleaned it all out and am keeping an eye on's still making the noise.  i'm not sure what's wrong.
there's a part of me that would love a new refrigerator, but the cost would suck...maybe it would be better to get it fixed...but a new one would be lovely too...this is what i want...

5 days and counting

i have 5 more days of work left. 5! originally, i was hoping that i could stay on longer if they hadn't found a replacement by the end of the month, but i've decided against it. if they ask, the answer will be no. never. i threw in the towel this morning after getting another crap email from my boss. i'm too tired of this to be dragged around in the dirt any longer. i'm so excited to be cutting my losses and getting the heck out of charlotte. i'm really happy that i have an end date. there was a stress release that happened as soon as it became official. i'm currently signing paper work and only have 5 more days of work. wow. i can concentrate on the health of this baby and maybe get a few more hours at ele's place or be there for my fiends who just had baby's or my pregnant friends or do a few more ministry things.

this makes me happy. i don't have to deal with this any more. i don't have to dread coming to work or waiting for the n…

kix in dreamworld

i'm not going to delve into it fully, because it was just too crazy, but last night i had a dream that i delivered kix. but i don't remember if kix was a boy or girl... bummer... anyway, i totally remember breastfeeding...when all of a sudden kix was gone and i was pregnant again...but i was in labor. but not like contraction labor. it was just constant kicks from within. lots of people were there. i was at riverview and most riv goers were there.suzanne was propped up on a giant pillow on top a pedestal in front of the lobby...don't ask...i have no idea! then i woke up. what i woke up to was a constant thud against my ribs and belly. it was kix...kicking. over and over. it was constant. i'm wondering if it was hiccups. they were that constant...but it felt like the baby was flailing within me. and it went on for at least 20 minutes and then just stopped.

it actually kinda scared me. the night before we lost Jorai, she was going crazy within me. steve and i…

27 weeks

we hit 27 weeks gestation tomorrow.  1 week shy of when we lost Jorai.  my apprehension is starting to take it's toll on me.  yesterday i felt the baby move all day.  i even felt a foot press hard against my hand as it was resting on my side.  but when i laid down to watch some tv at night, i wasn't feeling movement.  for the first time all day i wasn't feeling anything and my mind instantly went to the darkness.  i was all set to make a mad dash to the er when i felt a faint movement, and then another.  
i'm on edge.  i feel emotionally damaged  bit.  i'm hyper sensitive and freaking out.  i hate this.  i just want to take each moment as it's given to me and be thankful, but i'm in constant worry and apprehension of losing this child.  i'm letting little things bother me.  i'm feeling a little out of control.  which is silly since i was never in control in the first emotions and worry are taking over more than i want them to.  how can i j…


i think i just finished our taxes. i have a few things to put in from steve's investment stuff, but other than that, i think we're done. i think we get screwed for being married. which sucks...and doesn't make sense, but whatever. we've been using our taxes to pay our property taxes the next year since holt likes to really squeeze ya for every penny you have...and i think we'll get enough back to pay all our taxes. so that's cool...i wish we could use the money to buy diapers or a wii...maybe we'll have to use that rebate we're supposedly getting for that!

i'm just glad the taxes are finally done. yea.

sushi distress

we ate omi last night.  we got all the normal stuff i like and steve passed on the raw stuff just in case it touched mine..we got a spicy california, spinach sesame, shrimp tempura and steve tried the avocado tempura...nothing too spicy or crazy...but, i'm thinking this babe doesn't like sushi.  it hasn't been a pretty morning. 
we're going again this weekend...but i think i'll stick with the big soup thing...not sure what it's called, but ya get  meat and veggies and a big vat of boiling broth.  you cook all your food in the soup.  it's yummy.  and probably a bit easier for my stomach to process.  we'll see!

MI pot holes

steve and i've been noticing all the potholes in the road.  they're really getting bad.  today my friend krista sent me this video of a pothole she hit.  she's the cute one with brown hair with an xb...

sad little xb...

only in michigan

will you see kids roller blading and riding their scooters in the dead of winter.  snow is all around, but the warmth has melted and dried the wetness from the sidewalks, so it's time to get out of the bunkers of our houses. 
i think it's cool that kids are out.  last night i heard the neighbor boy playing basketball in the street and now today the kids are riding up and down the sidewalk.  i've always loved hearing children playing outside.  i don't know what it is about that sound.  but it always renews my spirit.  just like hearing the birds in the morning and the crickets at night.  i'm not trying to get too excited here, but i feel spring in the air.  
maybe my husband and i'll take a stroll after a hearty dinner of sushi tonight.  it would be nice to get out and breathe in some fresh air.  even though it's still cold...

baby kix

steve and i affectionately call our growing child kix, for obvious reasons.  my stomach is a swirl of movement much of the day and night.  the times there's little movement, i start freaking out, because i've become so accustom to the may swirls and jabs and stretches this little one performs on a constant basis.  i feel movement everywhere in my torso.  my sides, right down the middle, my pooper..yes, your read that bowels and super low in my stomach, just above my goods.  i'm not sure if the kids just extra long or simply extra active but i can seriously feel a jab in the ribs and at the same time a kick to the bowels.
as i was relaxing today i was feeling the hard lumps of kix within me.  i can't tell yet if it's a foot or a butt or a head, but it's baby.  when i rub or push in on the small hard lump, i feel my child push back against me or quickly move away.  today out the blue, i realized how blessed i am to feel this.  this is my child.  i can t…

another joyful work update

this is getting almost funny now.

so my manager, who only converses with me when i've done something wrong or is 'disappointed' in me, came into my office yesterday to hand me my 'notice of last day of work'. with it she 'kindly' let me know that i couldn't call in sick or take vacation from now until i leave. which could be in 2 weeks or 2 months...if i call in sick, they won't give me my vacation pay-out, that right now sits at 48 hours. side note...i called in sick the previous day since i was up all night with a sick husband...interesting that this came down today...

knowing my rights, and seeing what was written in the letter (if an employee calls in sick during their last 2 weeks, he/she may forfeit pay-out...) i said...isn't that just in the last 2 weeks? she sputtered and said, well i don't know, you'll have to look into your union contract.

so once again, management is trying to spin things. now, i have to cover my arse and m…

belgium waffle extravaganza

in both on my pregnancies the one thing i keep craving are belgium waffles..which is funny because although i'm a fan of blueberry crapes and pancakes, i've never been a huge fan of other waffles or pancakes. it's hard to find a good belgium waffle too. i have a vision of them in my head...the haughty version with fresh fruit and whip i crave them and crave them yet rarely get a chance to partake.

on tuesday as i was shopping for sick food for my husband, i noticed that kroger makes a frozen belgium waffle...i knew it wasn't going to taste like the ones i have swirling around in my head, but i thought i'd give them a try anyway.

last night i made 2 for dinner. i had some fake sausage with them and made my own blueberry topping...i have to say that for frozen belgium waffles, they were amazing. i think i've just created a waffle monster. thank goodness i only have 3 more months left in my pregnancy! this could pose a problem if i can't control…


i was up until 5:30 this morning with steve. although i actually went to bed around 4, i just couldn't fall asleep. i was wired. i don't know if i was worried about him or what, but i was wired. i slept until 10, but i'm still knackered. i went shopping today to pick up sick people food. sparkling water and temple of health tea...which i couldn't find! blasted! chicken noodle soup, i just didn't have the energy to make it from scratch, and oranges.

i feel fine. knocking on wood. i'm trying to lay low and take care of myself so i don't get it. he keeps spiking a fever, which isn't good. hopefully we can nip it in the butt and get healthy! and hopefully, i'll get some sleep tonight!

i want to go give little parker price some welcomes, but with the husband sick, i'm keeping a distance, just in case. but man, i want to run over there!!! congratulations dan, suzanne and jaden! yea baby girls!


i've been up since around midnight with a sick husband. well, i've been in bed, but he's been getting up every half hour or so, so really, i've been up to. it's now almost 3:30 in the morning. he's in the shower with a fever, i'm downstairs making him tea. is this God's way of preparing me for the midnight hour of childhood sickness?

i think i'll be taking a sick day tomorrow to take care of my husband tomorrow. seeing i've gotten about 2 hours of sleep so doesn't look good. i'm thinking steve may be the flu. please pray for his speedy recovery and that i don't get it. i never did get the flu shot this season because of my pregnancy.

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