Showing posts from May, 2007


**noise:steve watering the lawn

so it looks like i may lose my job because of all the budget cuts from the state. which is just lovely seeing i only have 1o weeks left before maternity leave. and if i lose my job, i'll lose my accrued sick leave (about 3 weeks) and most of my vacation not to mention my short term disability of $1500 and my health insurance...i can get on steve's insurance in a month after i've been's just a crappy time...although that would get me out of my job sooner than later. but we'll lose a lot of money in the boss called me tonight and left a message to come meet with her first thing in the morning. i'll keep ya posted.

so, i'm just asking for prayers. whatever's suppose to happen, thanks

wide load

i was surprised by this. i haven't seen a picture of me since i started to pop...well it's official. i'm huge.

home stretch

**mood: swollen
**noise:hand in glove ~ the smiths

we've made it to the third trimester! wowza. approximately 12 more weeks to go. we had a check-up yesterday. my sugars are super low, my iron looks good, i've gained 19 pounds which is within range (thank goodness!), blood pressure was great and the heartbeat sounds strong. every thing's on track.

but then i got home and looked at what used to be my ankles. i don't know if it was standing on my feet too much or the heat, but i no longer have ankles :-( steve looked at me and lovingly said 'you have cankles'!. thank goodness for him i was in a good mood!

the babe is moving like crazy and that's been super cool. i'm excited for August 23rd to come but equally freaked out!

200,000 mile club

**mood: happy
**noise:conventioneers ~ BNL

i've, or shall i say we've, made it. my girl has flipped 200,000 miles. steve and his car peaked the hill a while back. they're already on 211,000! but now we're there. it was a happy day yesterday. she got a little love rub.

we do need to retire one of them soon. we come!

what's in a degree?

**mood: excited to get outta here.
**noise: someones playing matchbox 20 i think

i keep finding it amazing how much gusto folks put behind a college degree. i think some degrees are needed in this world. i'd like to know the surgeon or OB/GYN i'm seeing has a degree, but does it really matter if a dietitian or librarian, or even a financial adviser has a degree? We look at the letters behind someones name and it gives us a sense of comfort. to think that this person went through a trained program means they really know how to do their job. right?

what about those of us who haven't gone through a trained college yet work well in the positions we have? if a person is self and experience taught, isn't that enough? does a person need a masters degree to be qualified for a position?

i seem to keep hearing from folks 'i deserve this because i have a masters degree', 'i deserve to flex my hours because i've gone through 6 years of schooling.' (well no…

I want, I want

**mood:ready to leave work

check out this sweet new office chair. this is so cool!

coolest momma shirt ever

**mood:excited...i get Omi tonight!!!
**noise: the clinic

a little something i've learned from the people i work with

**mood: well
**noise: complaining

if one would spend half as much time complaining about work, they would actually be able to get all of their work done.

i hear folks complaining about how much work their job entails and that it's simply impossible to complete it all. yet the same person will spend countless hours complaining about how little time they have to work. i just can't comprehend this.

i want to say something. especially when they sit in the clinic and complain about their jobs while folks wait in the lobby mere feet away from them and they probably haven't had a job in months.

but what do i say?

random acts of kindness

i was reminded last saturday how important random acts of kindness are. it's been a bit of a hard road for me in regards to relationships lately. i've felt a bit burdened and broken. and on saturday a newly made friend surprised me with a mothers day gift. i just met this person a few months ago. we haven't even talked outside of church. yet, some how, she thought of me and showered her love down upon me. it made my day. it helped me realize that there are good folks out there. while i was sitting in my little pool of self loathing, i wasn't seeing much brightness around. and then out of no where came this selfless act. it was so cool. i've had a couple of random acts of kindness befall upon me within the past few months and they've really helped me through.

i don't know if you read this my friend. but if you do, thank you. you touched me more that you'll ever know. and for all of you out there that do read this, shower down upon someone. …

meijer gardens

**noise:home ~ bnl

Mike wanted to take us to the meijer gardens for a wedding present. we decided to go last sunday. here are the choice pics.

at the edge

**mood: broken
**noise: some phil collins song coming from the next office over

i'm struggling with a relationship that i want to nurture so desperately yet give up on at the same time. i try and try again, yet i feel as if each time i try, i come back exhausted and frustrated and wanting to give up even more. how do you not give up on someone when it's the only way you feel you can protect yourself. what if this person hurts you over and over again and makes you feel as if it's all your fault? what if the person is a member of your family? what do you do? i look at other people relationships and i'm envious. i long to have that kind of relationship. i would do anything to feel love from this person. yet each time i let my guard down, i'm disappointed and thrown back to square one.

so where do i go? what do i do? i feel i have to keep trying, yet 90 percent of the time i try, i get crushed. how do you continue to show love to someone who doesn't show y…

songs for tv commercials

**mood: great

i've never heard of this guy, eric o'shea, but it's just too funny to pass up. enjoy

a little in my mouth

one crappy thing about pregnancy that nobody told me about was the puke burps...pregnancy brought on an abundancy of burping and the thing that sucks about this is, every time i burb, i puke a little. it's a wonderful experience that happens all day long. this is one experience i will not miss!

just thought i'd share.

fair trade day

**mood: sleepy
**noise:wake me up ~ norah jones

calling all sprint cell phones

**mood: alright
**noise: adrift ~ barenaked ladies

my phone is dying rapidly. a month ago, which just happened to be 1 year from the month i purchased it and the length of my service warranty, it started dying. the battery started to last only 4 hours or so (that's not 4 hours talk time). now i'm happy if it rings or tells me i've missed a call or have a message. although last time it told me i had a message, it came through over 4 hours after the message was left! i need to make a run to the sprint dealer to see if they can do anything but i'm assuming that will cost $$. i tried to find a cheap phone online, but unless i haven't found the right site, they all run between 150-300 bux.

so here's my plea. does anyone have a old sprint phone out there that they aren't using? i know many folks have flipped from one carrier to another after their plan ran out. if you have an old sprint phone sitting around and it works, would you want to part with it? i…

diaper decision

we've come to a decision on cloth diapers. if ya don't care abou this...ya don't need to read on!! i know i'm going baby crazy here. it may not be interesting reading to all y'all. but keep reading if you are interested!

when we were in Ann Arbor at Tree City Diapers, we got to touch and feel all the different kinds of diapers. pre-folds to pocket to was a bit daunting. we had a specific kind in mind, but after feeling the materials, seeing the fit and getting 2 recommendations, we changed our minds.

for the first 6-8 weeks we are going to use kissaluvs with a cover. they're super soft and they even have a little snap in front to draw down the center for the belly button to heal. plus, they're just so darn cute!

then we'll switch to the bum genius diapers.

The reason we switched is I guess 4 fold.

#1. everyone we've talked to says to go with these. Bum Genius just revamped their diaper making it even better than before, and i …

baby hawk

**mood:, i'm sleepy too much!
**noise:a phone

steve and i bought one of these the other week. it's called a baby hawk. i can't wait to put it to use! it's a one size carrier so we can both wear it. it was an impulse buy...but i think it's going to be super it's just on to buy all the diapers!

the room is nearly ready. and although there's a lot of nervousness of what's to come (purely on my side...steve seems to be ready for it all! why is he so relaxed?!?) we're both excited for the birth of our child. feeling the baby constantly moving within me makes me all the more excited to meet her. this is such a cool process. even with the sciatica, sleepiness and the loss of my agility, it's still by far the coolest process i've gone through. life changing.

ok, i'm getting nervous

on the way to work this morning i realized how crazy this whole baby thing is. in less than 4 months, steve and i are going to be parents and we have no idea what we're doing! when i got my drivers license i had to take classes and pass both a written and practical test. in order to inspect restaurants (yes, i use to do that) i had to graduate from college. but to deliver and raise a child, all i have to do is have sex.

we are going to be bring this little innocent being into the world and i seriously have no idea what to do. yea, i've changed diapers before and held, played and babysat babies, but raised them? fed them from my body? put them in a car seat? known when they're sick and not just frustrated? NO! we seriously have no idea what we're doing here folks. is this something you just learn along the way? i mean, we're reading books and all, but what happens when our child comes into this world and the doctor places her into our arms and walks outta…

internet porn

**mood: sleepy
**noise: bottom of the barrel ~ amos lee

here's another great video from XXX Church.


**mood: sad, maybe a bit bitter
**noise: nothing

it's been one of those days where i want a glass of wine, i know i should be taking this to God and asking for direction and a way to confront the situation, but i still want wine. i don't like dealing with these types of situations and i don't like being hurt. it sucks. so instead of dealing i want to have a nice red wine please. i know this is wrong, not only that i'm going to wine instead of God but also for obvious preggo issues. but i still want wine. what is it with a nice glass of red wine and a bath that seems to ease my sadness and anger. and why wouldn't i rather go to God? it's times like these that i realize i'm a crappy christian. although God is amazing and forgiving and loving and constantly waiting for me to come crawling back...if i were Him, i would have dropped kicked me years ago. i'm glad i'm not God. because even after i've spent this time confessing, i still would l…


**noise:the clinic

have you ever had a relative or close acquaintance go in for a lip kiss when saying your greetings or farewells? do you kiss your immediate family on lips as a greeting or farewell? how does it make you feel. is it just something you've always done? does it ever make you feel uncomfortable. what do ya do if you do feel uncomfortable about it. the quick turn of the head works sometimes, but there are also times when the person is adamant about the lip kiss and almost force you into it.

I don't like it. and I'm a very affectionate person. I'm a very hands on, touchy feely, huggy person. I even enjoy a cheek kiss or the European 'I'm going to act like I'm kissing you on the cheek, but really I'm just kissing the air' kiss. but the lip kiss…shouldn't that be reserved for my husband? maybe my kids? there's something about kissing someone that I'm either not married to or blood related to that just se…