Showing posts from November, 2005

but i want a golden goose daddy!

i feel blah. have been for a while. sucky really. last weekend noel mentioned that we should pray for things we're thankful for and repent our sins but he also admitted that he didn't want to. i love the fact that i have such rock on pastors who can actually speak truths and lay sin on the table. i felt the same way. and by noel opening up, i didn't feel so alone. i want to be faithful and patient and used by GOD but sometimes i feel like i just get the crap truck backing up into my life and loading me up. which is such a poo feeling and it makes me mad. in reality, i'm blessed beyond belief. so, i'm really pissy because i'm not getting what i want. well now, isn't that a bit selfish. so i try to look at the crap in my life and see the lessons i need to learn. yeah, that's not happening either. i don't know, i guess i just feel like everyone else around me is flourishing while i'm stuck in cow doo doo. but what's sad is that…

thank you k!

check this site out if you like coffee!!
i'm trying to be patient and forgiving and non-resentful here, but am finding it increasingly harder. as much as i love my parents sometimes i feel my love isn't enough anymore to resist the feeling of cutting all ties with them. it's horrible of me to say, i know. but they try to cause as much damage in the two youngest kids as much as possible. and i'm not trying to play the wounded victim or jealous sibling here. i just wish that my parents loved us for who we've become, not compare us to my eldest brother.

in a message noel gave the other week he mentioned how damaging it is for parents to play favorites and it's so true. although i wish my folks loved the 3 of us equally, what i wish more is just to be loved for who i am and not to be compared to glory boy or being the blunt of all things wrong or not perfect in his life.

well, that mom was spewing out lies about me to my brother the other day. which is typical. pitting one sibling against another, so he put…


hmmm...just found out that i can hook in2 someones wireless at steve's house...this is fun, but i feel a bit guilty...

Which Action Hero Would You Be?

hmmm..i think i have a problem...and who's maximus anyway???

You scored as The Terminator.

The Terminator can be good or evil. It just depends on who's manipulating his circuits. When he's evil, he's a killing machine. When he's good, he's---well, a killing machine. He often comes back in time to protect certain human beings from other Terminators. He has no sense of stealth or subtlety and will do whatever it takes to accomplish his mission. He has a curious penchant for sunglasses and seems to enjoy mimicking human slang.

75%Captain Jack Sparrow
75%The Terminator
75%Batman, the Dark Knight
71%Indiana Jones
63%El Zorro
63%Neo, the "One"
54%James Bond, Agent 007
50%William Wallace
42%The Amazing Spider-Man
42%Lara Croft
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with

apple anyone?

i got an ipod baby! ohhh yeah! so check this out...i was telling my friend johnny how much i want an ipod but am 2 cheap to buy one and he says ' i have one you can have'. in utter disbelief he said that he bought one a few years ago and never used it. it looks brand new. he couldn't find the charger or computer hookups so i had to buy those on overstock so it's siting there all shiny on my kitchen table, calling my name...but i have to wait until my cables come...but how sweet!

i'm so stoked.

let the feast begin

we went to a funeral yesterday. it was brutal. funerals are usually rough no matter what, but this was for a 39 year old who died unexpectedly in his sleep. not to mention he had only been married for 3 years and had a child less than a year old. it just sucks ya know. i know he's in a totally rockin place having the time of his life, but what a hard time for all his family. especially his wife.

it makes me think about life. how short it is, how precious it is. although there're times i want to throw my hands up in despair and quit, i'm not ready to leave yet. and when the day comes that GOD's ready to bring me home, i want to know that i made the most of each day with friends and family and outreach and love. i want to know that i tried and gave my best. not sat on my contunkus complaining about my job and the weather. i want to make a difference and enjoy the time i have here. i want to laugh and cry and run like a kid through the leaves without a care in the world.


trading spouses

this makes me sick

what is it about this show that makes me sick and joyful all at the same time? the premise is you take two families that are completely different and switch the moms for 2 weeks. 1 week they have to comply with the families' rules and the next they get to make up their own. there's fighting and yelling and complete and utter disrespect but yet at the end, both families usually learn from their mistakes…and then the religious zealot comes into the scene.

this person embodies why i used to be so bitter towards "Christians". this is why i never wanted anything to do with the church. their blatant judgements and unlove still astound me. when i think of what CHRIST did on this earth, how HE cared for all of the lowly, downtrodden and untouchables it fills me with compassion. and yet here is just another 'christian' spreading the message of intolerance, hatred, judgement and condemnation in how many households across the world? google marguerite p…


I'm a hypocrite. i'm constantly flappin my lips over the evils of wal-mart, how they and other big business are destroying america. taking away our small businesses and sense of community and replacing it with these self proclaimed discount stores. selling cheap crap made by people being raped of their dignity and family time because the only job they can find is one they make pennies an hour and work their fingers to the bone. i know all this and it makes me sick. but where was I last wednesday and then again yesterday? yeah…wal-mart. the place i loath most in the world…well…mcdonalds may be top on the list, but they're fighting a great 1st place fight!

so this is my problem. last week i decided to purchase a couple space heaters for my house. as i was searching on line, i found that wal-mart was 20 bucks cheaper. 20 bucks! ok…so i could pay $40 extra (remember, I was buying 2) to not shop at wal-mart, or cave in and save $40. then yesterday i was talking to our IT guy abo…

i saw this prayer a bit ago.

Cleanse me from these hidden faults.

Keep me from deliberate sins.