feeling inadequate

31 March 2009


Lately I've been wondering if I'm smart enough to be a parent. I know Asher is going to have all these questions about the world and truthfully, I'm pretty ignorant about a lot of stuff. Geography and politics for example...totally inept. My animal knowledge could use some brushing up and don't get me started on my mathematical skills. ugh! I want to be able to give my children everything they need to succeed. I want them to be inquisitive and know that they can count on my answers. I never want to lie to my kids or give them an answer I only think I know. I know people who truly believe everything their folks tell them and they end up looking silly when they spout off completely false answers. There has been a few times recently where Steve has corrected me or I have corrected him while trying to explain something to Asher and then we both wonder who's right. Thank goodness for google!

I've never had a problem telling someone that I don't know the answer to a question. I have no problem researching it and getting back to them...but how many times can I do that to my child before he thinks I'm just clueless? We're thinking about trying to homeschool him for the first few years, but honestly it's daunting to me. I feel like I need to go back to elementary school to learn all the things I need to know to prepare myself for all of Asher's questions. If Asher is anything like Steve and I, mentally speaking, home school and Montessori schools would be the best options for him...It's all just so daunting. I want to arm my child with everything I can, so he'll grow up to be this amazing knowledgeable man. Thinking about it all makes me feel ignorant...as if I'm not smart enough to parent a child. It's scary when you're reading an toddler book to your child and can actually learn from it!

I need to start researching homeschooling techniques and brushing up on my smarts...because of course we all know that Knowledge is Power!

Life Changes

30 March 2009


I went to get Asher up from his nap last Friday to find him standing in his crib. As soon as I entered the room he gave me the 'Look at Me!!!! You should be so proud of me!!' look. I thought it was just a fluke. I thought that it would be weeks before he started doing it on a regular basis, but no...he's done it every day since. We've had to lower his crib because now he's no longer just standing in his crib, but jumping up and down until we go get him. My boy is growing up fast and so I figured that I should post another list of how he's doing and what he's currently doing.

  • As of 23March09 he weighed 23 pounds and stood almost 30 inches tall. He wears 12-18 month clothes and yesterday I had him in a 24 month shirt. It fit. Scary! I have to buy him size 5 shoes because 3's are too small and I rarely can find 4's.
  • He started to really crawl in Florida.
  • He stands on his own for about 5 seconds or so.
  • He still loves to be outside and could stay out there all day.
  • He loves dogs but get scared and screams if they bark.
  • He would walk around with Steve all day every day if Steve didn't get tired.
  • He's normally taking 2-hour and a half naps a day and wakes up twice a night
  • Giggles whenever I ask him if he wants to nurse.
  • He's eating large quantities of food and loves it.
  • He's just figured out how to pick up food and bring it to his mouth. He used to just open his mouth and grunt when he wanted a puff. It was silly.
  • He makes noises like a ton ton.
  • He loves playing the piano, talking on the phone, pulling down books and movies and trying his best to destroy the mac.
  • He's addicted to anything with lights or displays. I'm afraid he'll be a TV zombie one day.
  • Can walk solo with his walker and can now ever turn corners with it!
  • Loves to stand at the glass door to blow bubbles and lick the glass.
  • Is getting super ticklish.
  • Has developed 2 freckles on his head and a small mole on his right thumb.
  • Has gone from pooping every 7-14 days to 3-4 times a day.
  • Loves taking baths.
  • Walks around furniture.
  • And to top it off, tonight he took 3 steps all by himself!
New foods:
  • egg yolks~not too sure about these, but tolerates them.
  • blueberries
  • mangoes
  • papaya
  • chicken
  • lentils
  • cauliflower
  • broccoli
  • kale
  • spinach
  • Hungarian mushroom soup (He got a little taster from my bowl last night! YUM)
Hmmmm...I think that's it for now. I'll post again soon.

First Steps


Asher took his first steps today! Of course we weren't looking out for it so we didn't get it on video, but he took 3 steps. I was holding him and he just took off. We weren't trying to get him to walk or anything. I think, he thinks, he can already walk, as he tries to take off alone all the time, but the norm is that he falls. He's taken 1 step before...but not 3! crazy. My little boy is growing so fast! I never thought I'd have a 10 month old walker. I've got my work cut out for me!

Fashion Sucks

I have a love-hate relationship with my sweats, or really any stretchy article of clothing. If it was fashionable to wear sweats, I would be in bliss. It's the first thing I change into at the end of the day. I look forward to it. On Saturday, after spending the entire day in sweat attire, I thought I should change for church, to at least try to look presentable. The funny thing, is that as much as I love sweats, I'd also love to be a fashionista. I'd love to be able to open a closet full of amazing clothes...and of course that won't happen...so I have to make due with what I have. After changing into a more presentable attire, I told Steve how nice it would be if it was OK to live in sweats. His comment? 'That's why fashion sucks'. It's so nice to have a husband who thinks it's OK to live in sweats. Seeing that I don't even own 1 pair of heels...I guess it's a good thing!!


As I was making a quick Target run today, I notices a man walking down the aisle wearing a Super Man t-shirt. Though it wasn't Super Man...it was Super Lover. Yup...Super Lover. I could barely resist laughing. I tried not to stare at him, but it was like a huge car accident...I just couldn't look away. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. But I have to give the guy some credit. You've gotta have guts to wear a shirt like that. Not only is it silly, but seriously...is he a super lover? I mean, that's a pretty lofty goal!

Super Lover. Scary. Why am I surprised by what people put on t-shirts anymore?

iPod anyone?

I have a few sites I check every day. You can say I'm a bit addicted...but in a way, it's a good thing. They're sites that give out 1 deal at a time. Some change their deal multiple times a day...some once a day and some change it whenever the item sells out. Today, on woot.com, I saw a 30gig video iPod for $99. It's refurbed, but still...$99! My super sweet hubby is buying it for me for my b-day...I mean, so what that my birthday isn't for another 4 months! Thanks babe!

So, I thought I'd pass along my daily cheapo skims. If anyone has another cool cost saver site, let me know...I'd love to grow my addiction!

Asher week 42

28 March 2009

Asher Week 41

22 March 2009

a cool story

13 March 2009

i saw this on oprah today and started crying...yea, i know, i'm a sap. whatever. it's a great story...i'm not sure what these 2 guys were thinking in the first place, buying a lion cub when they lived in a small flat...but still, the story is touching.

t-minus 24 hours

in 24 hours, we'll be in sunny florida for 6 days. the sun, the warmth...ahhh, i can't wait. asher's itchin' to play outside. i simply can't wait to be able to take him out unbundled. see y'all in a week.

Asher week 40

12 March 2009

Asher week 39

Asher week 38

10 March 2009

Asher 37 weeks

cheeto breath


i took asher to the dreaded babies r us today to search for a new blanket sleeper and i thought i'd walk down the food aisle to see if there was anything new. i want to find some yummy, new to asher, snacks for the plane ride. there's nothing like bribing your child with food and toys! we found some new organic cheese puffs and i thought i'd give them a go. asher loves them. which will be wonderful for the flight, but i have to say, i've really enjoyed his sweet little baby boy breath. today, he had his first case of cheesy big boy breath. it was cute. plus he had cheese puff residue around his lips...but i got a little pang of realization that my little boy sure is growing up! pretty soon he'll start waking up with morning breath, and then telling me no!, and then riding a bike and pretty soon graduating high school. wow. this is all going to happen in a blink of my eye isn't it!

here's to cheesy big boy breath!

spirit of jealousy


we went over to a friends house last sunday to meet their new baby girl. she was so tiny! but the crazy thing was that asher was smaller the day we brought him home from the hospital. she was so light. i can't even remember the last time asher was that light. being use to holding an almost 23 pounder made holding an 8 pounder feel crazy. i guess you just don't realize how fast your baby grows. it's hard to even think back to when asher was a newbie. he's growing so fast. he's almost crawling, almost walking and has such a personality it cracks me up. he let's you know when he's happy and is extremely good at letting you know when he's not.

steve held the baby first and asher was ok for the first few minutes, but then he had a conniption. he kept looking at steve and the baby and then reaching for him, crying and carrying on. when i took the baby, he did the same thing. even in steve's arms he would reach for me and scream as big crocodile tears streamed down his face. poor baby baby.

the only thing we can figure was that he was jealous of the baby. which is crazy. i wouldn't think jealously would be playing a role in his life so soon. but jealously has arrived in mass quantities. what's going to happen if i do get pregnant soon? how will asher react to another brother or sister? i think it'll be interesting to say the least.

these first 8 months have been such a joy...and the past month has been challenging watching his sin nature come into play. i can only imagine what's next...being a parent is so cool. i love watching ashers' characteristics reveal themselves.

we leave for our first family vacation on saturday. we're going to florida for a week. i'm a bit apprehensive about the plane ride and sleeping arrangements and how asher will do, but all in all, we're excited. i think it's funny that i'm apprehensive. before asher came into our lives i always said that i was going to be this uber laid back mom. which i think for the most part i am, but i'm not so much with traveling. maybe that will change after we get our first plane ride under us. anyway, i'm super excited to be in the sun and let asher enjoy the outdoors again. i'm excited to get him in the pool and let his feet sink in the sand and touch the ocean water. it'll be so much fun, i can't wait. 4 more days until sun!

Jorai's memoral ring

03 March 2009


as many of you probably remember, i had many, many problems with the jeweler who made my memorial ring for Jorai. and after all the turmoil, i walked out of the store with a ring i was extremely disappointed with. i should have never paid the guy, but i wanted my ring. i needed it, as silly as that sounds now. i still wear it. i never take it off. i look at it each day and feel the groove of her name inscribed in the silver, feel the pearl that dots her i (well, when it hasn't fallen out!). and i love it. but i hate it too. i love being able to see her name and feel her name anytime i need to...but the look of the ring itself drives me crazy.

last night as i was watching (and feeling disgusted) with the bachelor, i found this and my heart leapt. it's exactly what i wanted minus the pearl. so i ordered it today. as my current ring, Jorai Mae, will be etched in the band. i love the font, i love the thickness of the band...i can't wait to get it.