discouragement, impatience n frustration

discouragement is hard. impatience takes its toll and frustration at times seems to take hold like a tick. once again i find myself complaining in a world full of blessings and extravagance. i hate myself for feeling unfulfilled. i look at my life and see the blessings. one search on google will show me pictures of just how blessed we are in america. yet i sit here wishing i were somewhere else. this job is taking it tolls on me on so many levels and although i don't want to complain anymore, i find myself walking down that road. pressure and stress is pressing down upon me and the exhaustion is draining. i can't remember the last time i felt rested. i want to search for a new job but in a way i feel like a failure for leaving this one. and even if i do search, i have no idea what i wanna do. ministry, yes, but where and what. prayer is unfruitful for answers right now which probably means HE needs me to be patient, although I find that increasingly hard. Once again patience seems to be the hardest wisdom to grasp onto.