myspace
**mood: disecting
**noise: into dust~mazy star
the whole blog world is fascinating to me. i blog here, but i also have a myspace, primarily so i can keep up with current friends, make new and find old. it's the finding old friends that's a bit difficult for me. i used to be different...very different. i guess we all were. and it's usually not a problem, but there are some folks that i presume have no idea what to think of me. they use to know the old me. maybe they new the highschooler...the nice and proper, straight girl that hung out with everyone and yet somehow managed to live an almost straight life throughout highschool. or maybe they new the 20 something partier, hipster, free thinking, christian hating, dumpster diving freak...ok, so i'm still the hipster, free thinking freak...but no longer am i the christian hater...i'm the christian. my life has been completely overhauled. spiritually and physically. i've changed most aspects of my life…from my beliefs to what comes out of my mouth, what i put in it, anger control, bitterness and how i spend my money...
today, i realized that an older friend had deleted me as a friend.
one part of me could care less. the main part could care less actually .but there's that little highschooler still in me that cares...wonders why they deleted me...did i offend? am i not cool enough to be shown in their list? but what i really wonder is if my belief system is too much...am i too open with it? is it too much in their face? i don't think it is, but i would also hate to make anyone feel as i once did when the "christian" down lookers condemned me.
its just so strange. i'm not ashamed of my faith or my acts. i'm not even hurt that i'm no longer in this person's list of friends, but i want to make sure that i never make someone feel condemned. that balancing act of showing your faith in ways that folks notice a positive difference in you and not shoving it down their throats...
**noise: into dust~mazy star
the whole blog world is fascinating to me. i blog here, but i also have a myspace, primarily so i can keep up with current friends, make new and find old. it's the finding old friends that's a bit difficult for me. i used to be different...very different. i guess we all were. and it's usually not a problem, but there are some folks that i presume have no idea what to think of me. they use to know the old me. maybe they new the highschooler...the nice and proper, straight girl that hung out with everyone and yet somehow managed to live an almost straight life throughout highschool. or maybe they new the 20 something partier, hipster, free thinking, christian hating, dumpster diving freak...ok, so i'm still the hipster, free thinking freak...but no longer am i the christian hater...i'm the christian. my life has been completely overhauled. spiritually and physically. i've changed most aspects of my life…from my beliefs to what comes out of my mouth, what i put in it, anger control, bitterness and how i spend my money...
today, i realized that an older friend had deleted me as a friend.
one part of me could care less. the main part could care less actually .but there's that little highschooler still in me that cares...wonders why they deleted me...did i offend? am i not cool enough to be shown in their list? but what i really wonder is if my belief system is too much...am i too open with it? is it too much in their face? i don't think it is, but i would also hate to make anyone feel as i once did when the "christian" down lookers condemned me.
its just so strange. i'm not ashamed of my faith or my acts. i'm not even hurt that i'm no longer in this person's list of friends, but i want to make sure that i never make someone feel condemned. that balancing act of showing your faith in ways that folks notice a positive difference in you and not shoving it down their throats...
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