my story
**mood: ready to leave work!
**noise:the hallway
Noel wanted us to post 'our stories' today for what Tim Challies is calling Testimony Tuesday. So here I go..sorry, but it's as concise as I can get right now...
I grew up in a 'christian home'. What I mean by this, is we that we went to church, period. Other than knowing what the meaning of Christmas and Easter was, because I learned it in Sunday school, I didn't understand religion, faith or God. I was forced to go to church all through high school and during the services all I did was doodle and talk to friends. I did go to a youth group, but unfortunately it didn't involve Christ. It involved games and eating and movies…really, just a way for us church kids to get together I guess. In my youth I was a 'good kid'. Although I wasn't a great student, I was involved, played sports and didn't get in too much trouble. I was the typical girl though...seeking out male attention to feel worth. Not so much in a sexual way, but I always had to be in a relationship. I felt secure at home, but not in a Godly way. I was brought up in an extremely strict household and unfortunately because of it, when I moved out of the house for college I went crazy, dabbling into way too many things.
I seemed to also be the brunt of too many 'christians' who wanted to tell me that I was going to hell for this or that. I was the hippie chick who saw too many shows and wsa just going down the wrong path I guess. I was the heathen. My drug dabbelings and christian frustrations progressed through College and then to Washington as I moved out west to 'find myself'. I tried other religions. Native culture and their faith interested me, so did wicca. I tried other churches too but I never found peace in it. After 3 years I felt the pull of family so I moved back to Michigan and without going into too much detail here, I was hurt very badly by a man. Financially and emotionally I was crushed. The emptiness hit like a brick. I had fallen to the rocks and hit a bitter bottom. It was here where I realized that I had nothing to grasp.
So I grasp for alcohol and relationships that I knew were wrong. I was living in a horrible town, working for a horrible organization and my heart was broken. So I did anything I could do to numb myself.
After 6 months of drowning my sorrows, I got a new job in Lansing. And there I met Steve. He was extremely sly in our dealings and it didn't hurt that I had a major crush on him…but he showed me bits and pieces of this other life. A life turned towards God. My interest was peaked. I was a bit freaked out at times and kept a bit of a distance with the Christian stuff, but then I heard Noel speaking to me through the speakers of my car about some church where I could drink coffee…well, that sounded pretty nice to me, so I thought I'd check it out.
It was a combination of an extremely patient and caring man and the warmth and sincere feeling of being welcome I felt from Riverview that brought me to the first steps of my faith.
I know now that in 2003, God had to crush everything around me, so that I may open my eyes to Him. To truly see Him. I never knew Him. I never cared. I believed there was a higher power, but that's where it ended. I didn't care to give it much more thought. But in 2003, I saw Him and these past 4 years, have been amazing.
So here I am. Still struggling in life every day but not to find peace. I've found Him. I never thought I'd be calling Christians close friends because they always seem so condemning. And now here I am, a Christian. But hopefully, I can give other non-believers the same patience, love and unconditional acceptance as Steve, Riverview and many others gave me. it a beautiful thing, love. It allows you to see past the gunk and to the heart. It's only then that you can truly help someone find peace.
**noise:the hallway
Noel wanted us to post 'our stories' today for what Tim Challies is calling Testimony Tuesday. So here I go..sorry, but it's as concise as I can get right now...
I grew up in a 'christian home'. What I mean by this, is we that we went to church, period. Other than knowing what the meaning of Christmas and Easter was, because I learned it in Sunday school, I didn't understand religion, faith or God. I was forced to go to church all through high school and during the services all I did was doodle and talk to friends. I did go to a youth group, but unfortunately it didn't involve Christ. It involved games and eating and movies…really, just a way for us church kids to get together I guess. In my youth I was a 'good kid'. Although I wasn't a great student, I was involved, played sports and didn't get in too much trouble. I was the typical girl though...seeking out male attention to feel worth. Not so much in a sexual way, but I always had to be in a relationship. I felt secure at home, but not in a Godly way. I was brought up in an extremely strict household and unfortunately because of it, when I moved out of the house for college I went crazy, dabbling into way too many things.
I seemed to also be the brunt of too many 'christians' who wanted to tell me that I was going to hell for this or that. I was the hippie chick who saw too many shows and wsa just going down the wrong path I guess. I was the heathen. My drug dabbelings and christian frustrations progressed through College and then to Washington as I moved out west to 'find myself'. I tried other religions. Native culture and their faith interested me, so did wicca. I tried other churches too but I never found peace in it. After 3 years I felt the pull of family so I moved back to Michigan and without going into too much detail here, I was hurt very badly by a man. Financially and emotionally I was crushed. The emptiness hit like a brick. I had fallen to the rocks and hit a bitter bottom. It was here where I realized that I had nothing to grasp.
So I grasp for alcohol and relationships that I knew were wrong. I was living in a horrible town, working for a horrible organization and my heart was broken. So I did anything I could do to numb myself.
After 6 months of drowning my sorrows, I got a new job in Lansing. And there I met Steve. He was extremely sly in our dealings and it didn't hurt that I had a major crush on him…but he showed me bits and pieces of this other life. A life turned towards God. My interest was peaked. I was a bit freaked out at times and kept a bit of a distance with the Christian stuff, but then I heard Noel speaking to me through the speakers of my car about some church where I could drink coffee…well, that sounded pretty nice to me, so I thought I'd check it out.
It was a combination of an extremely patient and caring man and the warmth and sincere feeling of being welcome I felt from Riverview that brought me to the first steps of my faith.
I know now that in 2003, God had to crush everything around me, so that I may open my eyes to Him. To truly see Him. I never knew Him. I never cared. I believed there was a higher power, but that's where it ended. I didn't care to give it much more thought. But in 2003, I saw Him and these past 4 years, have been amazing.
So here I am. Still struggling in life every day but not to find peace. I've found Him. I never thought I'd be calling Christians close friends because they always seem so condemning. And now here I am, a Christian. But hopefully, I can give other non-believers the same patience, love and unconditional acceptance as Steve, Riverview and many others gave me. it a beautiful thing, love. It allows you to see past the gunk and to the heart. It's only then that you can truly help someone find peace.
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