getting screwed
so my boss is trying to screw me once again. not only have my hours been decreased from 40 to 16, but now they are making it as hard for me to find other employment as possible. they are screwing with my schedule. maybe it's time to simply cut my losses with this place. i'm just sick of it all. they tell me that one week i'll work monday and thursday and the next i'll work tuesday and thursday. who would hire me if i can only work certain days each week and that those days will change every week. this whole thing is silly and i seriously can't believe a department would do this to someone who has worked there for over 2 years. but then again, i guess i have to remember that the only thing they care about is the money and not their employees.
i'll keep the job for now, but i'm looking for other employment all together. i'm just completely astounded that they would do this to someone who just got 3 of their 5 days taken away. especially since i completely transformed that department. if it weren't for me, the educator would still be seeing only 1 client a week if that...when i left i was seeing up to 6 a day. they know that i want to find another job to fill in the gap, why would they make it as difficult as they can?
does anyone know of a job? i'd love to leave this place. i'd love to screw them. ohh...that's not the person i should be...i know. i should suck it up and turn the other cheek and show the new person all of the educational materials i created, everything i use and all of the handouts...but what i really want to do is delete everything i've created and leave that office not telling anyone what i do. i mean, i had to completely self teach myself to bring the department where it is today, why should i allow them to screw me as much as possible and simply take it? but then again...isn't that what i'm called to do, take it and turn the other cheek? where is the line drawn. how long do i stand strong and where's the point that i simply turn the other cheek?
damn i'm confused. i want to screw them. i want to throw my hands up into the air and scream. i can't believe that they really don't care that they're screwing me. but i also know that i'm not called to be a jerk. i'm called to show people the other way. right now though, i just really don't feel like being the better person. i really don't feel like showing people the good.
God is really working on me right now, isn't He? i started re-reading Job last night. Job went through so much. God allowed satan to 'test' him by killing all his livestock and children. turning his friends and wife against him and inflicting him with painful sores all over his body. God allowed satan to do all of this, to take everything from him to prove His point and to teach Job lessons through his pain and suffering. i'm starting to realize just how much He's testing me too.
the bible compares going through Gods lessons as being refined like gold.
i'll keep the job for now, but i'm looking for other employment all together. i'm just completely astounded that they would do this to someone who just got 3 of their 5 days taken away. especially since i completely transformed that department. if it weren't for me, the educator would still be seeing only 1 client a week if that...when i left i was seeing up to 6 a day. they know that i want to find another job to fill in the gap, why would they make it as difficult as they can?
does anyone know of a job? i'd love to leave this place. i'd love to screw them. ohh...that's not the person i should be...i know. i should suck it up and turn the other cheek and show the new person all of the educational materials i created, everything i use and all of the handouts...but what i really want to do is delete everything i've created and leave that office not telling anyone what i do. i mean, i had to completely self teach myself to bring the department where it is today, why should i allow them to screw me as much as possible and simply take it? but then again...isn't that what i'm called to do, take it and turn the other cheek? where is the line drawn. how long do i stand strong and where's the point that i simply turn the other cheek?
damn i'm confused. i want to screw them. i want to throw my hands up into the air and scream. i can't believe that they really don't care that they're screwing me. but i also know that i'm not called to be a jerk. i'm called to show people the other way. right now though, i just really don't feel like being the better person. i really don't feel like showing people the good.
God is really working on me right now, isn't He? i started re-reading Job last night. Job went through so much. God allowed satan to 'test' him by killing all his livestock and children. turning his friends and wife against him and inflicting him with painful sores all over his body. God allowed satan to do all of this, to take everything from him to prove His point and to teach Job lessons through his pain and suffering. i'm starting to realize just how much He's testing me too.
the bible compares going through Gods lessons as being refined like gold.
- 1 Peter 1:7
- These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Job 1:21why is it so hard for me to be faithful? i want to have Job's strength. i want to praise God through all of this. but instead i feel weak and worthless. please pray for me to be the woman God wants me to be instead of a selfish little girl. please pray that i will be able to see the good in all this crap. help me to grow in Christ. this whole process just helps me to see what a crappy, selfish, self loathing christian i am. i suck. i scream out at God. i feel sorry for myself and at times blame the One who breathes life into me everyday. i'm completely worthless and undeserving of His love, yet He continues to love me. i'm so grateful that God is God. if i were Him, i'd have dropped me eons ago.
"I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be stripped of everything when I die. The LORD gave me everything I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!"
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