**mood: pissed off
**noise: cowboy junkies
i just found out that my friend, who's 24 weeks pregnant with twins, was just in the hospital over night with tachycardia. she's fine. the babies are fine. but she's on modified bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy. what is going on here? another strong christian women having complications? i'm really trying hard not to get mad here. i'm really trying to remember that God's good, that He has everything in control. but how can i see the good when all i keep seeing is the bad and unexplainable?
i had a crappy day yesterday. i was sad all morning and then i fell down the stairs and i caught myself by smacking my head against the corner of the wall. pissed off i elbowed the wall..i know...stupid. but i don't care. then for some silly reason, i decided to start a gardening project and after multiple finger cuts i banged my knuckles against the lone piece of wood in the bed. so i swore out to God. that sucked. i've never sworn at God before. but give me a break here. can i have an ounce of sun in my day? just a second without pain. i feel like if i'm not being berated with emotional pain, the physical pain starts.
this morning started out alright, but then that went to crap as well. what is it with the weekends that are so difficult? the work weeks are tolerable but then the weekends...i've been trying like mad to pull myself together here. i was even going to blog about a lesson learned today, but now i'm just too pissed. it'll have to wait until tomorrow.
please pray for my friend. pray that those babies are safe and healthy in her womb. pray that she'll hold them until her due date. please pray fervently for her.
and if you have a sec. pray for me too please. help me to see the good in the madness. i want this horrible loss to mean something. i want to know that it all meant something and i want to honor my little girl instead of getting stuck in the muck of madness.
**noise: cowboy junkies
i just found out that my friend, who's 24 weeks pregnant with twins, was just in the hospital over night with tachycardia. she's fine. the babies are fine. but she's on modified bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy. what is going on here? another strong christian women having complications? i'm really trying hard not to get mad here. i'm really trying to remember that God's good, that He has everything in control. but how can i see the good when all i keep seeing is the bad and unexplainable?
i had a crappy day yesterday. i was sad all morning and then i fell down the stairs and i caught myself by smacking my head against the corner of the wall. pissed off i elbowed the wall..i know...stupid. but i don't care. then for some silly reason, i decided to start a gardening project and after multiple finger cuts i banged my knuckles against the lone piece of wood in the bed. so i swore out to God. that sucked. i've never sworn at God before. but give me a break here. can i have an ounce of sun in my day? just a second without pain. i feel like if i'm not being berated with emotional pain, the physical pain starts.
this morning started out alright, but then that went to crap as well. what is it with the weekends that are so difficult? the work weeks are tolerable but then the weekends...i've been trying like mad to pull myself together here. i was even going to blog about a lesson learned today, but now i'm just too pissed. it'll have to wait until tomorrow.
please pray for my friend. pray that those babies are safe and healthy in her womb. pray that she'll hold them until her due date. please pray fervently for her.
and if you have a sec. pray for me too please. help me to see the good in the madness. i want this horrible loss to mean something. i want to know that it all meant something and i want to honor my little girl instead of getting stuck in the muck of madness.
Comments
this too shall pass...and not in the sense that you need to let go of jorai, just in the sense that the dark cloud that is surrounding you *will* go away.
hang in there, kim. you are very dear to my heart.
don't worry about me. when i sit down i am fine. i needed to slow down and relax anyway :)
I hope that's ok.