hair help

steve and i went to see evan almighty this weekend. we went to lansing 6 theater, by the lansing mall. it was only $3.00 for the matinee and it was actually really nice. we were in the big theater, so that my be part of it...but the seats were nice and there were probably only 15 folks in the theater..we did go to the 11am showing, but it was nice...go check it out.

i may have gotten more out of the movie because what we've been through these past 3 weeks, but something hit me hard...in a conversation between God and Evan's wife, God says this:

If you pray for patience, do you think God just… gives you patience? Or does he give you opportunities to be patient? If you pray for courage, do you think he just gives you courage, or opportunities to be courageous? When you pray for your family to grow closer, does God send warm fuzzy feelings, or opportunities to stand together?

this reminds me to focus of what Christ is constantly trying to teach me and how i'm constantly not listening. i am constantly praying for God to move in my life. for His to show steve and i where we're suppose to be, what we're suppose to be doing. i pray for our ministry. what is should be, where we should be focusing our attention. but instead of really taking the time to listen, i just go about my day. i ask and then shut off my hearing.

when i first became a believer, 'my song' became phoenix with a heartache by kids in the way. and still, every time i hear it, it reminds me of where i came from, but what i need to remember is that i continue to come from there. every day i wake up, i need to nail myself to the cross. i need to nail my sorrow to the cross. i need to nail my self loathing and frustration to the cross. why do i keep forgetting this?

Christ is constantly trying to teach me. Christ is standing there, waiting for me to hear Him. waiting for me to see Him. why am i so deaf? why am i so blind? Jorai was brought into our lives to teach us. to form us. maybe for us to help others. i need to remember this. i need to keep this close.

phoenix with a heartache ~ kids in the way

It's a bone cold night.
I'm breathing in the air.
It's freezing up my lungs, as I
fight for words to share with you,
to tell you what you've done to me.
You ripped me from my set in stone complacency.
You rose from the ashes
Like a phoenix with a heartache.
Now you're taking me away with you
tonight and I know that I can't fly.

But when I'm in your arms, I'm holding up the sky.
It's a bone cold night.
I'm writhing in despair.
It's freezing up my heart, as you
fight for words to share with me,
to tell me what my eyes can't see.
You ripped me from my set in stone complacency.
And there you were, standing there,
Like an answer to a dream I never had.
You showed me everything, showed me everything,
showed me everything I never knew about me.