this little light of mine

today was a hard day. i couldn't get my wits about me until 8pm. everything set me off. we had a visit from a friend for lunch and for about an hour, things looked up. it was nice, but then she left, so did my hope. we got about 12 cards in the mail today, gifts from family, a few books and a gorgeous rose bouquet fit for a sweet little girl. all this outpouring of love is overwhelming.

if there is one thing we've learned through this tragic time is that love heals all pain. as corny as it sounds. i have truly come to understand what 'love wins' means. i thought i knew. i've been driving around with the bumper sticker now for 3 years, but now i really know what it means. this time for us sucks beyond words. there are no words to describe our pain and loss. but through the haze, i can still see love. sometimes it's brighter than others, and frankly, some times i can barely see a spark. but i know that it's still there. that glimmer of hope shown through a friends touch, a family members call, a thoughtful email, card or gift or a warm dinner. the simple words i love you, when they're truly meant, will lift someone from the depths and that little glimmer of light becomes just a bit brighter.

all i can say is thank you. again. our appreciation to all of you is huge. you have all made me a better person. this tragic, crappy, screwed up, unfair, devastating event and your love for us has changed me. you all have shown us such love the past few days and we are astonished everyday with something new. you've shown us that there's still love in the world even when we only see darkness. you have been the light we lost the day Jorai died. you have been the reflection of Christ. thank you for being that love. you've helped me keep my faith in love. you've helped keep my faith in the future and most importantly, you've helped keep my faith in God. and for that, i cannot thank you enough.

the darkness is still suffocating, but i'm grateful for all of you reflecting Christ so that we can see His grace through this hard, hard time. thank you for being such wonderful examples of Christ. and thank you for being our friends.

from the bottom of my heart. i love you all. sincerely.

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