crunched

i was on a boat with some of steve's friends last night when a 5 year old asked me if i was a mom. after thinking about it, i said no. what do you say to a five year old. how do you tell her that yes, i am a mom, but my daughter isn't with us anymore? so i thought it would be easier to say no. as soon as the word 'no' hit my lips, i felt guilty. i felt like i was ignoring my child. like she never existed.

i've been crushed ever since.

i am a mother. to an amazing child i never met. God has used Jorai to teach me more that i thought was possible. i thank God for her and miss her every day. i am a momma. i just don't have my little girl her on earth with me. i want you all to know that.