i just saw a women in the clinic breastfeeding. my soul aches to be that woman right now. holding my child, nursing her, stroking her hair. i've found that being at work is hard. it's been a place to reconnect with friends and start to submerge myself back into daily life, yet at the same time, working in a clinic filled with women and children can be heartbreaking. i'm hanging in there, putting on a brave happy face and stumbling through the day, but being here is a constant reminder of all i've lost. all the pregnant women, all the babies, hearing the crying through my closed door, they all tug a bit on my heart. i wonder if i'll still feel this way if/when i get pregnant.
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