i wish i knew where grief comes from. how i could stop it. there's nothing to take this pain away. and i know that. but i still wish there was a little pill.

this weekend was great. steve and i spent our anniversary weekend in saugatuck and then stayed in a b&b in allegan. i'll talk more about the trip later. but it was great. it really was. then i get home and something hit's me. grief. again, out of no where. i've been trying to shake it for hours, but ya know...it's still here, covering me like a cold wet blanket. i hate this.

i still can't believe that i'm that person now. the one with a tragic story. i'm that person who gets whispered about when i leave. or talked to 'sensitively'. i never wanted to be this person. i never thought i'd be this person. and at times i forget that i am now, this person.

being this person sucks.

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