i've realized today that i really need to keep my emotions at bay, especially when it comes to opening my mouth to let them spill out. i've aways be an incredibly open and honest person and for the most part...it's a good trait. but then there's times when it's not. today it wasn't. with all these emotions pumping through my body i feel like a wound up ball of rubber bands just waiting to unravel. i hear one thing wrong and i start freaking out. one thing leads to the other and i end up looking like a fool.

it's times like this that i seriously think about shutting my mouth and rolling with the punches, never giving my opinions or fears or apprehensions. just sit there in silence. that way if i take something the wrong way and go off, i won't end up looking like a fool. really, i think i just care too much what people think of me. i'm too self conscious. i over think everything i do. i worry about what i say or don't say. i don't believe in myself...and quite honestly, i don't rely on God like i should.

man, i'm a shitty person.
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heather j said…
1st of all, you are not a shitty person at all...your are HUMAN. We all (ok, most of us, especially me) open our mouths when we shouldn't, we have no idea how to not voice our opinions. Now that I am working in an office setting, I totally understand what you are going through. One thing I have learned, and I have no idea if this will help or not, but we sometimes have to let people dig their own graves so to speak. I am always caring about if someone is doing something wrong or not the way I would do it and I either tell how it is supposed to be done or how I would do...and most of the time people don't want the help, they don't want to be told what to do, even if it is right...so we have to shut our mouths and let them figure it out for themselves that they are doing wrong. Again, I have NO idea if this is helpful at all to your situation, but it is a lesson I have learned the hard way over and over. Hope your days gets better...and if you are a shitty person, then I am too and we can be shitty together ;) hehehe
10 October, 2007
Anonymous said…
if by shitty you mean one of the coolest most compassionate people i know, then, yes. you're shitty.
10 October, 2007
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