keywords
i think it's brilliant when people find my blog while searching for 'porn' or 'phoenix rising porn'...which what exactly is phoenix rising porn? that one kinda scares me. most of the people who find me randomly searched netti pot...which is funny since i blogged about them once...so to see porn pop up on my keyword analysis of who's visiting my site, gives me warm fuzzies.
i wonder what people think when they hit my site when they're trying to find porn? i know i would be disappointed and quickly go about my search...but what if people just read...would they stop searching for porn that day? if they read a post specifically about my stance on porn, would it make them think?
starting a sexual purity ministry at church scares me. it's a place i never wanted to go to...i would talk to people about my past...steve's past...i may even post about it...but to help a group of people? never thought i'd be the one. i'm excited about it. i hope God uses us in whatever way He wants to. i hope He gives me a calm nature...because i don't want to blow it.
this whole thing is just cool. how God uses even the weakest. here i blog about being mad at God, pissed even. my faith has been tested the past 6 months. i feel it contiue to get tested daily. i'm not as close to Him as i used to be. i don't read His word as i should. i even yell at Him. but loving Him, believing in Him and trusting Him is so much more than my frustration and disillusionment. He still wants me even in spite of my failings. and more than that, He wants to use me. He uses me every day. with this ministry or the greeting ministry or my blog or even simply bumping into someone on the street, He uses me. He can use a creep like me. i like that. i find comfort in that. i like the fact that although i am nothing, God makes me something.
how cool is that?
i wonder what people think when they hit my site when they're trying to find porn? i know i would be disappointed and quickly go about my search...but what if people just read...would they stop searching for porn that day? if they read a post specifically about my stance on porn, would it make them think?
starting a sexual purity ministry at church scares me. it's a place i never wanted to go to...i would talk to people about my past...steve's past...i may even post about it...but to help a group of people? never thought i'd be the one. i'm excited about it. i hope God uses us in whatever way He wants to. i hope He gives me a calm nature...because i don't want to blow it.
this whole thing is just cool. how God uses even the weakest. here i blog about being mad at God, pissed even. my faith has been tested the past 6 months. i feel it contiue to get tested daily. i'm not as close to Him as i used to be. i don't read His word as i should. i even yell at Him. but loving Him, believing in Him and trusting Him is so much more than my frustration and disillusionment. He still wants me even in spite of my failings. and more than that, He wants to use me. He uses me every day. with this ministry or the greeting ministry or my blog or even simply bumping into someone on the street, He uses me. He can use a creep like me. i like that. i find comfort in that. i like the fact that although i am nothing, God makes me something.
how cool is that?
Comments
also know that i do not judge. my husband and i have been places and done things in the past that we can never take back. because of this i can relate to a lot of different purity issues...
and lastly, remember that it may be hard to step out from your hiding place, but once you do, you'll have a friend who you can be honest with. and thought that might be scary right now, as soon as you do it, it will feel amazing.
if you feel like you just can't come, please tell someone about your secret and get help. we'll have a lot of different tools at the group that can help you, you can email me and we can talk directly, or find someone else who can help. but please, reach out to someone. you're in my prayers.