due dates
i have friends who got pregnant while i was in my 4h and 5th month who are almost ready to deliver. although i'm happy for them, at times i feel like a 5 year old that wants to scream 'but, it's not fair!'.
it's just so strange to have so many dreams and plans wrapped around something one moment only to have to let go of them, the next. and to look into the future to now see other people celebrating their babies birth as you can only look back to remember what you've lost. i mean, i'm hopeful to deliver this baby, but it's so different this time around. i'm excited but i'm also just waiting for the shoe to drop, so to speak. so the first thing i think of, is my loss not my gain. maybe it's because it's still so raw and fresh too. i don't know.
it's just hard to see all these women deliver healthy, screaming babies and remember that my baby girl came so silent. i'm truly excited for my friends, but their joy, tugs a bit at my heart.
it's just so strange to have so many dreams and plans wrapped around something one moment only to have to let go of them, the next. and to look into the future to now see other people celebrating their babies birth as you can only look back to remember what you've lost. i mean, i'm hopeful to deliver this baby, but it's so different this time around. i'm excited but i'm also just waiting for the shoe to drop, so to speak. so the first thing i think of, is my loss not my gain. maybe it's because it's still so raw and fresh too. i don't know.
it's just hard to see all these women deliver healthy, screaming babies and remember that my baby girl came so silent. i'm truly excited for my friends, but their joy, tugs a bit at my heart.
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