choose your words wisely
once again my blood has boiled. in fact the phone conversation that racked me happened 30 minutes ago and my cheeks are still ablazin'. i'm ok., I’m not mad…I realize that people don't think before they talk...present company included! but man...
so, 30 minutes ago, a nurse called me from my obgyn office telling me that my doctor is going to be referring me to a perinatologist for a consult and ultrasound. this doctor would like me to get some blood work prior to the appointment...what the nurse said was 'dr. smith wants you to get some blood work prior to your consult because of your previous fetal demise'. this is was same nurse that mentioned my 'fetal demise' a few months ago.
a few months ago, i let it slide. today i didn't.
i immediately said, 'could you please not say that?'
the nurse said 'what?'
i said 'i know medically, that is what it's called, but it's not a nice term to hear'.
her response? 'oh, well, that's just what it's called medically.'
what i wanted to say, but chose to silence myself and go directly to the doctor with it was 'oh, well, i call it a child. my child.'
so now, i will be talking to the doctor about this. i thought i'd let it slide and hope that she just made a slip of the tongue. personally working in a clinic, i know clinical people get in the routine of talking medical speak and slip up now and then, but to have to hear it twice...i'm not having it.
i think i may even offer my time to come talk to the staff about how to handle parents who have lost their child, prenatal. i'm surprised how many medical staff truly get it wrong. in the hospital, during my delivery, i couldn't have said more positive things about our medical staff. they were sincere and careful with their words and actions...but getting back into a doctors office, some staff can be amazing, and others are just oblivious.
i guess the way i look at it is, if our child lived but then died of cancer within the first year of life, i'm pretty positive that no doctor or nurse would say 'well, because of your cancer kid...' so how come it's ok to say fetal demise? i'm really starting to loath that term.
so, 30 minutes ago, a nurse called me from my obgyn office telling me that my doctor is going to be referring me to a perinatologist for a consult and ultrasound. this doctor would like me to get some blood work prior to the appointment...what the nurse said was 'dr. smith wants you to get some blood work prior to your consult because of your previous fetal demise'. this is was same nurse that mentioned my 'fetal demise' a few months ago.
a few months ago, i let it slide. today i didn't.
i immediately said, 'could you please not say that?'
the nurse said 'what?'
i said 'i know medically, that is what it's called, but it's not a nice term to hear'.
her response? 'oh, well, that's just what it's called medically.'
what i wanted to say, but chose to silence myself and go directly to the doctor with it was 'oh, well, i call it a child. my child.'
so now, i will be talking to the doctor about this. i thought i'd let it slide and hope that she just made a slip of the tongue. personally working in a clinic, i know clinical people get in the routine of talking medical speak and slip up now and then, but to have to hear it twice...i'm not having it.
i think i may even offer my time to come talk to the staff about how to handle parents who have lost their child, prenatal. i'm surprised how many medical staff truly get it wrong. in the hospital, during my delivery, i couldn't have said more positive things about our medical staff. they were sincere and careful with their words and actions...but getting back into a doctors office, some staff can be amazing, and others are just oblivious.
i guess the way i look at it is, if our child lived but then died of cancer within the first year of life, i'm pretty positive that no doctor or nurse would say 'well, because of your cancer kid...' so how come it's ok to say fetal demise? i'm really starting to loath that term.
Comments
i'm so sorry that happened to you. people can be so insensitive. and the fact that you tried to draw her attention to it with no sympathy is inexcusable. sending lots of hugs your way!!
((hugs))
thanks!