stillbirth tax credit?
tiffany and i were talking after church saturday about having to do our taxes. she said that we can actually claim our babies on our taxes. which in a way makes me feel sad, but in another way, it makes me feel a little joy. not to put a price on my child’s life, but to me, it's a mere smidgen of recognition that i've been waiting for.
as i've mentioned before, mi is a state that doesn't recognize a stillborn child as a child. they won't give you an actual birth certificate, which doesn't add the child to any clinical data. which sucks seeing that 1 in every 115 deliveries is still. it's hard to describe the feeling of wanting the world to recognize your child. it's easy for the parents and anyone who has been personally affected by the loss to recognize the child as a child. but to others, all they see is a loss, a mishap, a ‘fetal demise’. in fact i think that's where so many of the comments like 'oh, don't worry, you'll have more children' come from. you wouldn't say that if they had just lost they 10 year old child to leukemia. so why is it ok to say that to someone who's lost a baby?
anyway, after the conversation with tiffany, i did some research. turns out there was a mi bill signed into law in 2006 that gave parents a $150 tax credit for a stillborn child. again, a part of me hurts, thinking that i'm going to be asking for a mere $150 for the life of my child...but to me it's the recognition that really counts. someone out there, brought this to the governor. someone cared. someone realized that even a child that comes into the world still, is still a child. to me, this is one step in many.
the site i found the senate bill 1176 on, had a few comments. all of them negative. all of them, i think, trying to side on the side of parents, yet you could tell most have never lost a child due to a stillbirth. they all were complaining that the state is putting a price on a life and how shameful that was. one person's comment was simply 'pure unadulterated natural fertilizer.' one person commented who had gone through a loss, but unfortunately he was only speaking out of anger i think. one comment he made was 'what is this measly token going to accomplish other than to remind people when they do their taxes of something they want to forget.' which makes me sad. i never want to forget.
well, for me, that $150 dollars, as little as it is, signifies that there are people out there who care about this issue, that legislation is happening at the grassroots level and that one day, those who have gone through a loss like ours, might not be sent home with a hand written, unofficial birth certificate, but a real certificate. and one day the children we loose in this way, will be more than a 'fetal demise' they'll be remembered as children. maybe someday there'll be better testing or studies to find out how we loose so many of these beautiful children.
as i've mentioned before, mi is a state that doesn't recognize a stillborn child as a child. they won't give you an actual birth certificate, which doesn't add the child to any clinical data. which sucks seeing that 1 in every 115 deliveries is still. it's hard to describe the feeling of wanting the world to recognize your child. it's easy for the parents and anyone who has been personally affected by the loss to recognize the child as a child. but to others, all they see is a loss, a mishap, a ‘fetal demise’. in fact i think that's where so many of the comments like 'oh, don't worry, you'll have more children' come from. you wouldn't say that if they had just lost they 10 year old child to leukemia. so why is it ok to say that to someone who's lost a baby?
anyway, after the conversation with tiffany, i did some research. turns out there was a mi bill signed into law in 2006 that gave parents a $150 tax credit for a stillborn child. again, a part of me hurts, thinking that i'm going to be asking for a mere $150 for the life of my child...but to me it's the recognition that really counts. someone out there, brought this to the governor. someone cared. someone realized that even a child that comes into the world still, is still a child. to me, this is one step in many.
the site i found the senate bill 1176 on, had a few comments. all of them negative. all of them, i think, trying to side on the side of parents, yet you could tell most have never lost a child due to a stillbirth. they all were complaining that the state is putting a price on a life and how shameful that was. one person's comment was simply 'pure unadulterated natural fertilizer.' one person commented who had gone through a loss, but unfortunately he was only speaking out of anger i think. one comment he made was 'what is this measly token going to accomplish other than to remind people when they do their taxes of something they want to forget.' which makes me sad. i never want to forget.
well, for me, that $150 dollars, as little as it is, signifies that there are people out there who care about this issue, that legislation is happening at the grassroots level and that one day, those who have gone through a loss like ours, might not be sent home with a hand written, unofficial birth certificate, but a real certificate. and one day the children we loose in this way, will be more than a 'fetal demise' they'll be remembered as children. maybe someday there'll be better testing or studies to find out how we loose so many of these beautiful children.
One in every 115 deliveries is a dead baby. If deliveries were aircraft landings, Phoenix Sky Harbor airport, with about 700 landings daily, would have 6 fatal crashes every day. How long does one think the FAA would allow that to continue? Twenty-four hours? And yet as a nation we tolerate 80 pregnancies on average "crashing" daily in the U. S.and Jorai's $150, that $150 from the state of mi, will be added to all the other money we've gotten in her memory. and one day, hopefully soon, our church will have an amazing children's memorial garden. that $150 may not be much, it may not help our grief or dry our tears, but it does, in a way, help us, help Jorai, help others. and that's what matters.
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