can i hold your baby?

i'm nervous about this question. i already have people telling me that they can't wait to hold our baby. there are certain close friends where i can't wait to hand off our child for them to hold, but there are others where i just won't feel comfortable for awhile. how do mom's and dad's handle the people who are so upfront about holding their children? i don't want to be rude! but if we bring our child somewhere when he/she is only a week old, i don't want 10 people holding him.

i ask this because i know it depends on how i feel, but i really don't want to miss riv's first night in the new building. so unless i go late, we'll probably be bringing our little one to church when he/she's still super young. i was thinking about wearing our child in a sling to deter some people, but i know there are still some that are very, ummm, direct and have no people skills, that would walk up with their arms open and say 'let me hold the baby!'.

i've always been the person that wants to share our child and i won't have a problem handing them off when they get a bit bigger and stuff, but i'm not sure how i'll feel just handing my child off to tons of people within the first few weeks/month. i also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either.

the whole situation makes me want to stay at home and only have my close friends come see me, but then i'd miss the opening night at riv and that would blow. argh. decisions, decisions...

i guess i'm just a different type of person, but i wouldn't go up to someone, unless we're super close and ask to hold their child when they're only days/weeks old. in fact i usually stand back until i'm asked if i want to hold a child that young because all mom's have different views about it...man i don't know...

my friends will be holding my child whenever they want. but how do i handle people i hardly know or who i know, but am not close to? why do some people think the minute you pop a child out of you that, that child is everyone's property? it's such a strange thing. i know now why some people do a baby moon for a month or two so they don't have to deal with the situation.

here i am freaking out already and the babes still safe inside. i'm going to be a basket case, aren't i?

Comments

Wendy said…
I wish I had some great answer to this question. But if you don't feel comfortable having someone hold your baby, don't let them --- even if you might offend them. You can always say something like "I'm not ready to give her up yet."
wearing the baby in a sling sounds like a perfect idea! I'd just politely say you're not comfortable letting anyone but you and steve hold baby kix quite yet. You have every right to say no thankyou until you feel comfortable passing the baby to someone you trust. :)
Anonymous said…
i agree with the baby sling idea. that will be the easiest.

also- remember a few posts back how you talked about doing what was best for you as a family not just doing what was "expected" or the "norm". i think this is an example of that. if it feels uncomfortable, politely decline.

i was concerned about virtual strangers holding eli, too, so i totally get this.

not much of an answer, just my two cents.
Anonymous said…
baby sling. that's what i always did. also, have hand sanitizer with you.
Anonymous said…
When my nephew was born (in December at the height of cold and flu season) my sisters doctor ordered her to leave him in the carseat while at church (as tolerated by the child of course). That way people "hopefully" won't get in the childs face so much.
Mindy Richmond said…
It may not happen as often as you think it will. Yeah, I would just politely say no. Though you seem like someone who isn't afraid to speak your mind, so I'm sure you won't have a problem. I am more the timid kind and I was surprised how confident and protective I became after having Luke.

Or, you could have fun with it and tell them they need to answer a brief questionnaire before holding the baby. Then hand them a list of questions like: When did you last wash your hands; Did you use anti-bacterial soap; Have you had a cold in the last 30 days; Are you wearing perfume or cologne; Did you shower today; Have you been in contact with any children lately?
missie said…
You are not a basket case! I would just politely say that you don't want her exposed to too many people yet. Eva got RSV when she was 11 days old, and it was because someone with a cold came into contact with her without washing hands. It was not a pleasant experience. So don't feel afraid to tell people to wash hands before they touch! I also think the sling would work beautifully!
Nicole said…
Baby sling or wrap!!

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