contractions

i was contracting all day yesterday. all day. and all i was doing was sitting around at a wedding and reception then church...it felt like my period was about to hit. kix was moving around like crazy too. i was hoping this was the beginning of something...but then i went to bed and woke up this morning with nothin'.

this waiting game is hard. but i think what's harder is not really knowing what labor feels like. i've been in labor before, but it was induced. i even took the pain with an induced labor until i was fully dilated. the nurses didn't think i was fully dilated so they gave me an epidural, which i find interesting. so i must have been handling the pain quite well. but maybe this time will be different. maybe the sensations will feel different to me. everything was so discombobulated and emotional a year ago.

will i know the sensations? i want to make sure i call my doula in time and do any last minute preparations...this is all just so strange. 2 times now i thought this was the beginning and then nothing...it probably doesn't help that i never had braxton hicks contractions with Jorai...so i've only experienced the actual labor part of things.

i'm just so excited to meet this child and see steve interact with his child...and not be pregnant...i know it's coming soon. i know i need to relax and be patient and enjoy these last few days/weeks...but i'm just so anxious!