friends

lately i've really been thinking about friends. i have a lot of friends. not many that i'm super close to, but a lot that mean the world to me. i also have friends that i've met online and my outer fringe friends whom i don't see that often, but who still mean the world to me.

last june, when we lost Jorai, people came out of the woodwork to help us. we were sent gifts and meals and cards. we felt so much love from people. we got support from friends and those who have since become friends.

since june, i've made on-line friends from people who read this blog and from message boards and groups i've belonged to...

since the arrival of asher, i've been reminded of all the people who support us and love us. when i send out pictures of asher, i get comments from people who seem almost as excited for us as we are. it's amazing. and once again, people have come out to deliver us meals. i just feel so loved. it's amazing what a simple meal can do to help someone. and with all the jaundice rigmarole, friends have lent me breast pumps, supplemental nursers and breast shields. we've even had a friend come over to do dishes and clean our bathroom! it's just been amazing.

yesterday i turned 33. i know, i'm old. i didn't do much...but steve took asher outside for a bit so i could shower and do my hair...and i got to pick up the kitchen and house a bit...not as much as i wanted to, but it felt nice to have the time to clean pick a few things up! which i never knew i'd be excited about!! after, steve and i went to houlihans to get my free birthday entree and then went to church. nothing to exciting

but when we got home, i immediately sat on the couch to feed asher when all of a sudden someone walked through our door. it was a couple-friend of ours bringing me a surprise ice-cream b-day cake...which i've never had before and they rock! every 5 minutes or so, someone else walked through our door to surprise me! i felt so loved. it was amazing. a wonderful, beautiful surprise.

i tend to seclude myself a bit...keep people at arms length so i don't get hurt. it's a problem i have. i'm working on it...but at times i look around and feel alone because i don't have many super close friends...but it's times like this, where i realize that i have some pretty amazing friends who love me. i wish i was half the woman as my friend who brought me the birthday cake. she is the most generous, loving and thoughtful woman i know. i hope her generosity rubs off on me! and i hope i can remember all the amazing friends i have surrounding me and let my wall crumble a bit to let more of myself show and be able to let my friends in more.

i just wanted to say how loved i feel and how much i appreciate all of you. thanks for loving me and my family.