routine

all last week, asher was sleeping so well. he would wake twice a night after sleeping 3-4 hours. it was wonderful. i felt as if i were normal. i had energy and my eyes didn't feel ready to bug out of my head. it as lovely.

then sunday hit. he pulled a 3 hour stint, then 2, then 1. he woke at 12, then 2 and then 3. he was up from 3-5ish when steve finally took him. which i felt bad about since he had to work, but i was at my 'i'm losing it' stage. completely knackered. i couldn't function. i was at the crying phase and just broken. but when steve took him i was able to sleep from 5-7:30, that saved me. it's hard when i get to the 'i'm losing it' phase...i start questioning my ability to parent. which i know is wrong. i know i'm a good mama...but in the moment, i feel as if i'm the worst mama in the world. i can't even get my sleepy child to sleep.

last night he pulled a 3 hour stint then a 2hour 40min stint and then a hour 1/2 stint. i nursed him and steve took him at 6. i feel better today, but still sleep deprived.

i miss the 4 hour schedule. we haven't changed anything, so i'm not sure what the problem is. i'm feeling sleep deprived. thankfully, i have nothing to do today except hit target and sams and then go to a going away party @ 6 tonight...so there will hopefully be naps and relaxation galore today.

i need to get my child to sleep longer. i don't have grandiose plans of him sleeping an 8 hour stretch, though that would be brilliant! just 4 hours...maybe 5...that's all i ask...4 hours. please give me 4 hours. please.