motherhood guilt
sometimes i wonder if i'm a good mama. i hope i am. i try to be. but there are times, where i put him in his vibe and let him just chill so i can do what i want to do. some times i get so tired of carrying him around, entertaining him and trying to make him happy, that i resort to playing baby einstein on the computer or putting him down on his activity mat to watch the lights. i don't do it often, but tonight i did. i'm tired. today is a day i have asher from dawn to dusk. alone. steve has a certification class from 5:30-8:30 and i'm just plain tired. physically and mentally. asher was actually tired too...i put him down at 7:20 tonight.
i think it was even harder tonight since it was raining. i couldn't take him out on a walk and i know he just gets so sick of my mug and the few baby toys we have in the house...so a night walk is always nice...i'm not sure what to do in the winter!!! i hate resorting to the swing, activity mat or baby einstein dvd.
does it make me a bad mama if i let him hang by himself for 20-30 minutes? i feel guilty doing it and i don't know why...but i do. i feel like i should be teaching him something or have some cool educational toy he likes...but i don't. i guess i just feel bad not entertaining him all the time. i feel like it's my role now, to be there for him at all times. not that he's not having fun by himself...maybe i'm just being silly.
i think it was even harder tonight since it was raining. i couldn't take him out on a walk and i know he just gets so sick of my mug and the few baby toys we have in the house...so a night walk is always nice...i'm not sure what to do in the winter!!! i hate resorting to the swing, activity mat or baby einstein dvd.
does it make me a bad mama if i let him hang by himself for 20-30 minutes? i feel guilty doing it and i don't know why...but i do. i feel like i should be teaching him something or have some cool educational toy he likes...but i don't. i guess i just feel bad not entertaining him all the time. i feel like it's my role now, to be there for him at all times. not that he's not having fun by himself...maybe i'm just being silly.
Comments
What's funny is that my fear when Luke was little was that he would be overstimulated. So I went the other direction. Of course he seemed to like that, sitting alone in his chair, falling asleep alone in his crib, and he absolutely hated the slings and carriers. Proof that every baby is different. You just have to find a balance I guess, but don't ever ever feel guilty for taking some time for yourself to do the things you've gotta do.