time

time sure flies. i was talking to a new welcome team member last night about how, if we had one, my 15 year high school reunion would have been this year. 15 years! wowza. it seems like just yesterday i was roaming the halls of high school.

last weekend steve and i celebrated our 2 year anniversary. 2 years! it seems as if it were yesterday that i was walking down the aisle to some sweet psalter music to my now, amazing husband. it seems as if it was yesterday that noel and jr asked us when we were going to start trying for children at the riv Christmas cele. and we told them that we were pregnant! it seems like it was just yesterday that we lost Jorai, that we were going through our mourning processes and the pain seemed never ending...it was only a year and 1 week ago when we found out we were pregnant again with asher, yet it seems ever shorter than that.

time flies. in the 2 years that steve and i have been married we have felt such joy, such sorrow, such blessing and such loss. i remember in high school how long 2 years felt, yet now, at 33, it flies.

we're tentatively thinking about trying to get pregnant again next mayish...and yet as far as that is away, it feels like next month already. am i ready? can i handle 2 children? we wanted our children close, but since i was pregnant for nearly 2 years my body has about had it. and then, the what if's...what if we lost another child. could i handle that? i don't want my mind to go there, but of course it will. in another 2 years, will we have 2 earthly babies? that's just crazy to think about.

time flies. i wish i could slow it all down...asher's getting so big. only 16 weeks, but so big. smiling and getting excited and almost rolling over. such a big boy. i want to savor every moment.

steve mentioned yesterday, how in a few years, asher may be walking down the stairs to find us for comfort after a bad dream. to think of that is amazing. i remember crawling into my parents bed after having a bad dream and i know how i'll savor those same moments with asher. knowing that steve and i are his comfort. but i know those times too will fly by and soon he'll be in high school himself. this is all just so crazy to me. and why am i even thinking about it now, as he's only 16 weeks...

again, i just want to savor every moment.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thank you for your comments on my blog Kim, support from other parents means so very much to me right now. I know what you mean about time moving faster as we age. My husband and I were just discussing this at dinner tonight. He mentioned how Gwen was getting sooo big and doing so many things by herself, I said it makes me kind of sad that she's so independant, and that I probably wouldn't feel so sad if our baby was sitting here next to me. He said, but just think - we've been together for 15 YEARS! Think how long it's been.. 15 yrs from now is the earliest Gwen will move out (at 18) and I said, yeah.. the 15 yrs we've been together does seem forever ago, but when you're young time moves so much slower.. now it zips by in no time! The only things I've found to slow my time down is early pregnancy.. when you know that anything can happen (now my whole pregnancy will inch by because of losing Dresden) AND my baby dying.. time right now is soooooo slow! I wonder if it will go this slow until I can try getting pregnant again?? It's going to be a looooooooooong 2009!
anyway, thanks again, it does really mean so much to hear from people who know what we're going through.

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