the boy is moving out

i set up asher's crib in his room this morning. i'm not sure if my heart is ready for him to be more than a few feet from me at night, i know, silly. but i can honestly say that physically, emotionally and mentally i'm needing this. i have to move him.

for 3 nights he slept alone in our bedroom as we slept in the guest bedroom. he still woke 2-3 times a night, but the stretches were longer apart and he slept until 9:30-10 every morning. last night steve and i returned to our bedroom because we had decided to finally paint the guest bedroom yesterday and the fumes were pretty the room was freezing since the windows were open and a fan was exhausting the fumes out. what ensued last night was horrendous.

asher was down by 8:30 and we went to sleep around 11. he first woke at 1, then 3, 4, 5 and 6. i was about ready to lose it mentally. steve got up to help rock him back to sleep at 5, but he only wanted me. i tried to bring him into bed to nurse him but he wanted nothing to do with that. i had to keep taking him into his room to nurse him...though he wasn't really nursing. he'd suckle for a bit and then be out. at 6, he feel asleep pretty quickly but within 15 minutes of me putting him back down in his bed, he woke back up. steve took him downstairs and i finally slept from 6:30-10:30.

i don't know if he can smell me or what. all i know is that it was totally ridiculous. and i'm exhausted and emotionally and physically spent. i can't keep doing this. so, he's moving out. he's up there right now napping in his vibe. he was refusing sleep in his crib, but by the time steve put him in his vibe and starting walking upstairs with him, he was out. stinker!

for the first time since he was born, he's in his own room. although a part of me already misses him so close, steve and i have our room back. no more whispering and tip toeing when we go to bed. and we can re-kindle the love light in that room too. i have to think positive! and that one's huge.

so yeah, my boys growing up. last week he learned to sit up by himself and this week he moving out. they do grow up fast, don't they?!?


ShannaKay said…
big hugs!!!!!
Katie said…
It just doesn't seem fair that sleep deprivation also impairs your emotional ability to be normal and rational... as if being a mama wasn't hard enough.
Asher will be fine in his new room - and you will *love* (eventually) having your space back with Steve. It was the other way with us (I slept in Hazel's room with her) - and it was hard to leave her in there (I kept tiptoeing in to check) - but I got over it pretty quickly when I realized how nice it was to have my "master" bedroom back.
I'd send "sleep vibes" your way, but I don't seem to have any as I am also parent to the Amazing Non-Sleeping Baby. So let's just say - I'm right there with you.
Meghan said…
i am in the same place right now. Bea is about to move to her crib tonight. I can't wait to sleep in any position I want, but I am going to miss her sooo much.

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