bummer.
for all of you out there who have been waiting for the news, we're not preggers. bummer. I didn't think I'd be so bummed but I am a bit. Maybe it's just that I finally embraced the idea of being capable of nurturing and raising 2 children. I don't know...all I do know is that I was bummed to discover last night that I truly wasn't pregnant.
Ya know it's funny, when you're trying to conceive and then waiting for the day you can test, you can really talk yourself into thinking your pregnant. I remember doing it when we were trying to conceive Jorai and then Asher, and it's been the same this time around too. If I'm more tired, go to the bathroom more, more sensitive or emotional or hungry...you name it...any heighten sensation must mean that I'm preggers. It's silly really. And it doesn't help that my loving husband consistently says 'I think we're going to get pregnant this month' Which I know I should trust since he's said that with both of our children and it really took us 2 and then 3 cycles. But I still believe him.
Also, I know some of you are probably thinking that I'm letting people know too soon if I'm preggers or not preggers so I thought I'd let you into my thoughts for a bit. When we got preggers with Jorai, we were going to keep it to our selves until we got into the 'safe zone' of the second trimester. Well, Noel got that secret outta the bag pretty quick! Which was a actually a blessing. I was so wonderful to be able to share the news with people. And then in my third trimester, we lost Jorai. Which of course was news to me, that you could lose your baby for no real reason so close to their due date. So now, I realize there truly never is a 'safe zone'. Each and every second is precious and needs to be celebrated. I also know that I need prayer and support through my pregnancies. Although, if I do get preggers again, I think my life will be preoccupied by a certain little boy so I may not be so neurotic and nervous every day. But nevertheless, we want to share with the world our joy of a new life growing within me. That's why we share, no matter how soon we find out.
Well, here's to lots of practice and the possibility of a positive test in August....also, here's to beer, wine and gin and tonics for the next 3 weeks! :-)
Ya know it's funny, when you're trying to conceive and then waiting for the day you can test, you can really talk yourself into thinking your pregnant. I remember doing it when we were trying to conceive Jorai and then Asher, and it's been the same this time around too. If I'm more tired, go to the bathroom more, more sensitive or emotional or hungry...you name it...any heighten sensation must mean that I'm preggers. It's silly really. And it doesn't help that my loving husband consistently says 'I think we're going to get pregnant this month' Which I know I should trust since he's said that with both of our children and it really took us 2 and then 3 cycles. But I still believe him.
Also, I know some of you are probably thinking that I'm letting people know too soon if I'm preggers or not preggers so I thought I'd let you into my thoughts for a bit. When we got preggers with Jorai, we were going to keep it to our selves until we got into the 'safe zone' of the second trimester. Well, Noel got that secret outta the bag pretty quick! Which was a actually a blessing. I was so wonderful to be able to share the news with people. And then in my third trimester, we lost Jorai. Which of course was news to me, that you could lose your baby for no real reason so close to their due date. So now, I realize there truly never is a 'safe zone'. Each and every second is precious and needs to be celebrated. I also know that I need prayer and support through my pregnancies. Although, if I do get preggers again, I think my life will be preoccupied by a certain little boy so I may not be so neurotic and nervous every day. But nevertheless, we want to share with the world our joy of a new life growing within me. That's why we share, no matter how soon we find out.
Well, here's to lots of practice and the possibility of a positive test in August....also, here's to beer, wine and gin and tonics for the next 3 weeks! :-)
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