sleep deprivation
Last night Asher woke at 11:30, 12:30, 1:30 and 2. When he woke, he bolted up and started screaming and jumping up and down in his crib. And when I mean screaming...I mean screaming. Asher rarely even cries when he wakes, so I know something is going on when he's screaming. The only thing I can think of is nightmares. I feel so bad for the kiddo and actually wonder what he's having nightmares about.
At 2 in the morning I drug the futon mattress up from the basement and brought it into the nursery. I comforted Asher down and then lay down to nurse. What a joy! I haven't been able to do that in months. He wants nothing to do with that. I usually have to be sitting in a quiet room for him to nurse. While I was nursing I was thinking how lovely it was going to be to sleep with him all night like we used to. Feeling his warmth and hearing his breath. I miss it so. But as he rolled over and sat up, and turned around and put his head down and got back up...over and over again...I realized that my little boy could no longer sleep with me. He has gotten used to his independence and needed it. So as much as I hated...I picked him up and placed him back in his crib,and laid back down on the floor next to his bed. Although I got to sleep close to him all night, I have to say that I truly missed the opportunity to snuggle with him all night. Though I know we both probably slept better apart. But I sure do miss his snuggles.
Today he woke with a runny nose. I don't know if last night was related or not...in fact I think it has more to do with allergies than a sickness...but I still feel bad for the punkin's.
Anyway, needless to say, I'm exhausted. Utterly exhausted. I've been barely functioning all day. Thankfully, he took 2 solid naps, so I could sleep as well, but I'm still exhausted. I'm going to bed soon. It's Friday night...8:10pm and I'm going to bed. I feel like a loser...but it'll feel so good to crawl under those sheets and relax.
Goodnight y'all.
At 2 in the morning I drug the futon mattress up from the basement and brought it into the nursery. I comforted Asher down and then lay down to nurse. What a joy! I haven't been able to do that in months. He wants nothing to do with that. I usually have to be sitting in a quiet room for him to nurse. While I was nursing I was thinking how lovely it was going to be to sleep with him all night like we used to. Feeling his warmth and hearing his breath. I miss it so. But as he rolled over and sat up, and turned around and put his head down and got back up...over and over again...I realized that my little boy could no longer sleep with me. He has gotten used to his independence and needed it. So as much as I hated...I picked him up and placed him back in his crib,and laid back down on the floor next to his bed. Although I got to sleep close to him all night, I have to say that I truly missed the opportunity to snuggle with him all night. Though I know we both probably slept better apart. But I sure do miss his snuggles.
Today he woke with a runny nose. I don't know if last night was related or not...in fact I think it has more to do with allergies than a sickness...but I still feel bad for the punkin's.
Anyway, needless to say, I'm exhausted. Utterly exhausted. I've been barely functioning all day. Thankfully, he took 2 solid naps, so I could sleep as well, but I'm still exhausted. I'm going to bed soon. It's Friday night...8:10pm and I'm going to bed. I feel like a loser...but it'll feel so good to crawl under those sheets and relax.
Goodnight y'all.
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