vacation in December

29 November 2009

I never really put much thought to it really...other than if I wanted to deal with Asher in a non-child proofed condo and on a long plane ride, but as I continue to see the downfalls of traveling in the month of December, I realize how I really never want to take another vacation in December again.

I look forward to November and December every year. The spirit changes in people. The air is different. There's magic to the season I think. All the holidays, all the traditions and meanings and the spirit of giving...the parties and the food and the get togethers. The lights and decorations and music. The snow. And I hate snow! But the snow, when it first comes...it's so exciting...so beautiful.

We normally take a Florida vacation in March. But since I'll be giving birth in early April, we chose not to go and the offer was placed to go in December. To tell the truth, I never really wanted to go. I knew it would be a headache with Asher and I just didn't want to deal. But Steve really wanted to make the adventure, so alas...we're going. And I think we'll probably have a wonderful time if Asher adjusts to the sleeping arrangements and after we proof a VERY kid unfriendly place...but so far we'll be missing 2 great events at Riv, a girl get together for me, my nieces birthday and a free photo op at our photographers...not to mention I'm so anxious to go out and get a Christmas tree but we can't until the 13th. And that's just the stuff I know about right now.

It's only a week, but I feel as if we're already missing so much. December is such a busy, fun month. I don't know what I was thinking! So, I'm trying not to be a boob and I'm trying to get excited for a vacation that we normally have a lovely time at, but I'm also putting my foot down. No more vacations at the holidays. They're too important for me to miss any of it.

half cooked

24 November 2009

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Today marks 20 weeks for me and peanut. I got to see the lil' gal (I think anyway) yesterday and it was such a joy. This pregnancy has been so weird for me. With Jorai, I was simply blissfully ignorant and then was shattered by her loss. With Asher I was neurotic and terrified every single day. I barely got to enjoy the pregnancy because I was always just so scared. But now, with this peanut...most times I forget I'm pregnant until I feel some squirmies or Asher knees me in the pregger belly and I feel a pang.

Thinking that I'm already 20 weeks along, kinda freaks me out. In 5 months, we'll be a family of 4 (5 in spirit). It won't be just Asher and I any longer during the days. When 5:30 hits, I won't have alone time for quite a few months, which is what I normally have....and mostly, I'll need to wrap my heart and soul around two living babies when right now, I can only imagine the love I have with Asher.

Don't get me wrong. I love this little one within me. I can't wait to meet her/him. But it's a different feeling than I had when I was pregnant with Jorai or Asher. I didn't have a living child at home in my previous pregnancies. It seems as if all I'm thinking about right now is Asher...my love for him, his laugh and words and personality and deviant nature. Every thing about him is amazing. Every thing about him is love.

Today he gave his baby doll 2 kisses. And the other day I caught him being gentle and stroking a friends baby's' leg and foot. I can't wait to see him with his sibling. I know it'll be a change...and it'll probably be a struggle for a bit since I can't even hold another baby without a complete meltdown...but I can't wait. I can't wait for them to play together and laugh and chase and fight, together. How amazing.

So, yes. My little peanut. I saw you yesterday and you were beautiful. Kicking and punching within your warm and cozy home. I relish the times I reach down and feel you move. Papa got to feel you a few nights ago. He's getting so excited to meet you too. We love you and pray that you stay healthy and strong and we look forward to hearing your sweet voice as you tell the world you're ready to conquer it. We love you peanut.

Is it too early to start shaving?

11 November 2009

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Here's a memory for the record books my dear son.

You love to watch and help your Poppy shave. Whenever Papa's shaving you run in, take the electric razor and start to shave your pops. Tonight, as you were trying to avoid taking your bath, you ran into the bathroom grabbed the shaver and started 'shaving' your face like Poppy does. After a few minutes, I came in to undress you for your bath and noticed that in the process of 'shaving' your slobbery face with a non-operating electric razor, you removed Papa's stubble remnants from the razor and smeared it all over your face. It actually looked like you had a stubbly beard.

I wish I would've had my camera to document the moment. It truly was hilarious!

Organizational advice

06 November 2009

I'm junkie. I don't like it. I try really hard not to be, but I seem to be a clutter mongering junkie. I hate it. I try to change. I come up with grand ideas of how to be better organized and keep a cleaner more tidier house, but it never lasts. I go to my friends houses and they all seem to have tidy, clutter-free rooms. I'm embarrassed by mine. It's not a dirty thing. My house is clean. It's just cluttery. And it hasn't helped having Asher. It seems, whatever I pick up, he follows to empty. If I put his shoes away, he follows and throws them all out. Same thing with diapers, hats, washcloths...you name it. And he won't let me clean dishes, so I usually have to wait until he's sleeping to clean up the kitchen.

So I'm asking for advice. For all you mama's out there, what are your organizational secrets? How do you find the motivation and the time to keep things in their place? I'd really love some help in this area!

Asher things to remember

05 November 2009

  • You LOVE apples. All kinds. But especially crab apples. You'll run to the window, point out at the neighbors crab apple tree, throw your head back and say 'Aaaaaaaaaple.' As soon as Papa comes in the door you run to him and say 'Aaaaaaaaaple.' When you eat an 'indoor' apple (one from the store) you never seem to chew up and swallow the skin. Mama always has to fish in your mouth to pull out any leftovers before bed.
  • You love to play chase around the divider wall in the living room. But you only run out of view and then you plop yourself down on the floor and wait for us to come find you.
  • You love video's. Mama tries to only let you watch a few minutes every day, but each time the computer is opened, you run over, shake your arms in the air and excitingly say 'Da...da...da....da!'
  • You love your baths. You love to splash and play with toys, but you especially like to let the water go down the drain. You like to cover the drain to feel the suck and you wait for all the water to empty and them you lay tummy down in the tub and pretend to swim.
  • You LOVE the Barnyard Dance book from Sandra Boynton. When we sign it, we slap our knees like a hoedown song. You ask us to read it over and over by slapping your knee or our knee. And when we read the part of the book that says 'bow to the horse, bow to the cow'....and 'all take a bow and the dance is over', you bow your head all the way to the ground.
  • You like to give the baby 'kisses' by zerberting Mama's tummy. You're a pretty talented zerberter, making some impressive tooty noises! And when Mama asks where the baby is you point to her belly.
  • Whenever you get a sticker you want to place it on Mama or Papa's nose.
  • You love balls and everything that's round is a ball to you. All during October you were calling pumpkins balls. And no matter how many times we tried to correct you, you still shouted 'BALL'.
  • You're a screamer. You're one of the loudest children I know. You scream when your happy, scared, sad...you love to hear your own voice. It's funny mostly...but ear piercing as well!
  • When you get excited, you pucker your lips and say 'Oooooooooo!' and then point to whatever you want us to see.
  • Many of your words sound the same. For instance ball, boy, bug, bus and bird all the sound the same as well as baby, papa and bye bye. If you say something and I repeat the word I think you're saying but is wrong, you yell at me and say the word over and over until I understand.
  • Speaking of words, you don't say a ton, but you're starting to try and repeat anything I say. Right now the words we somewhat understand are: Mama, Dada and Papa, ball, all done, milk, bread, apple, bug, bus, car, shoes, cheese, bird, baby, diaper, no, yes, ouch, juice.
  • When teaching you to go down the stairs on your bottom, Papa inadvertently taught you to grunt. Now you grunt with any physical movement. Especially going down the stairs. Each stair you hit has to be followed with a 'ugh'. When pushing in a chair, you grunt. Anything that requires effort...grunt. It's pretty funny.
  • By Mama trying to get you to understand the meaning of yucky, she taught you to stick your tongue out when something is yucky. You may not say the word, but when asked how to say yucky, you stick your tongue out and make a noise of disgust.
  • You've learned to say no. But I can't figure out if it's just a response or if you really mean it. When you say it, you shake your head with a devious smile and quickly say no. Always with a smile. It scares me a bit!
  • You're staring to really become scared of things. For a few weeks you got scared when walking past windows at night. You'd scream and run towards us for reassurance. When you're sleepy, and we leave your sight for a minute, you scream and run to find us.
  • If you're being held by one of us and the other needs to take you, sometimes you'll scream and kick your legs in protest. If we give you a few moments and explain again why one of us is taking you, you settle down and relax.
  • You like to clench your fists, tense your body and teeth so hard you shake. Mama can't tell if you think it's funny or what. You always smile after it.
  • You have a major stinker face. You pucker your lips and push your face out at the person you're trying to stink on. It's seriously the cutest thing I've ever seen.
  • When I ask you to chew your food, you open your mouth up wide and show me how you chew.
  • You love to dance and you have a major sense of rhythm and moves that you regularly show off.
  • When ever you hear music, you stop and listen. If it's on TV, you stop what you're doing and crawl up on the couch to watch and listen. I think you may end up with all of musical talent that your parents sorely missed out on!
  • You love to be chased, but it scares you at the same time. You are constantly getting Papa to chase you around the square, but your squeals of laughter quickly becomes squeals of fright and you then you find me and jump into my lap.
  • You love to 'help' in whatever your Mama or Papa is doing. Especially sweeping. As soon as the 'big' broom comes out, you run to find yours to help sweep up the kitchen. You also love to vacuum.
  • You love the ocean. You love splashing in the water and you LOVED chasing all the birds.
  • Though you hate to get your diaper changed, you're starting to lay down and ask for it to be changed when it's dirty. It doesn't happen all the time, but it's so nice to see you realizing that you've dirtied your diaper.
  • You still sign for more, thank you and please. You also like to blow kisses.
  • You are great at giving hugs and kisses. You love on anyone who asks and you still love to cuddle...Mama loves that.
Well, I think that may be all for now. I'll keep posting these memories of you. You're growing up so fast. I wish there was a hold or rewind button! You are a joy in our lives sweet boy. You are MUCH loved.

Another memory to never forget

04 November 2009

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Last night as I was saying prayers with you, you would end each sentence with 'mmmmm.' It was an agreeing 'mmmmm.' It kinda went like this:

Mama: Thank you Father for the warm sun you let hit my face today.
Asher: Mmmmmm.
Mama: Thank you for letting me play with my friend Nathaniel at the park
Asher: Mmmmmm.
Mama: Thank you for keeping my body strong and sickness away from me and my family.
Asher: Mmmmmm.
Mama: Please keep my baby brother or sister healthy and strong.
Asher: Mmmmmm.
You are so funny my dear son. You warm my heart. The entire time I was praying, I had to hold back giggles and I thank you for that. Thank you for being you.

Memories of you.

03 November 2009

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The last day Asher nursed was Sunday November 1st at 9:40am. Boo. Yesterday he asked to nurse at his nap, but I told him that it hurt Mama and that we didn't need to nurse. He shed a few tears but then settled down on a shirt covered boob and took his bottle as I rocked with him and sang some songs. Today he didn't even ask to nurse at his nap.

I know this is a good thing and I know people are probably sick of me talking about it, but it's a big bummer in my life. I miss it already. I'm second guessing my decision with flu season upon us and I just miss our snugly time.

But, there are positives...more so if I wasn't preggers...but it's nice to have another way to calm him down. I guess I just didn't realize that my last time nursing was Sunday. I would have savored the time a bit more. A part of me wishes he would ask 1 more time so I could savor our last time together...but I don't think it will happen. I think he's over it. We'll see.

I'm glad now that I gradually weaned him. It gave us both time to ease into it. And although there were a few tears, there weren't a lot. It was a fairly easy transition for him. For him. It's a bit of a different story for me...but I'll be OK. My little boy is growing up. He doesn't need that part of me anymore. But he does need other parts of me. This is just one more milestone to place in the record book. A sad one for his mama...but a good one.

So here's to the memories...

  • here's to warm faces smooched against my skin
  • here's to sticky fingers holding on tight as if trying to not fall off
  • here's to hours and hours of staring into closed eyes, marveling at long lashes, kissing sweet rosy cheeks, cleaning out waxy ears and tickling chubby little fingers and toes.
  • here's to having my necklace and earrings being wanked at, chest being slapped and pounded and pinched, eyes being poked at and fingers being shoved in my mouth.
  • here's to those long open stares as if you're telling me I love you.
  • here's to all those hours we spent together, just you and I...hanging out...talking and singing and just being...together.
I love you baby boy.


October pics

02 November 2009

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September '09

01 November 2009

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August '09 pics

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