guilt
When I catch myself truly laughing, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for feeling anything but sorrow. I know it's all part of the healing process, but it makes everything harder. As if my mind and spirit doesn't want me to be happy. And even saying that, makes me feel guilty.
I wonder why that is. I wonder why I feel guilty for every thing. I know both Jorai and Selah would want me to only feel joy, I know that it probably brings them happiness to see my joy...yet if I allow myself to laugh, right now I just feel guilt. That sucks.
I wonder why that is. I wonder why I feel guilty for every thing. I know both Jorai and Selah would want me to only feel joy, I know that it probably brings them happiness to see my joy...yet if I allow myself to laugh, right now I just feel guilt. That sucks.
Comments
I have a dear, dear friend who lost her 13 year old son to suicide 10 years ago. I flew to Chicago to be with them. She did not want a luncheon afterwards because she didn't want to have a party. She thought it was wrong she didn't want to celebrate. The aunts & uncles donated and did one for them. She found herself laughing at a cute story someone told her about her son. It was so wonderful to hear her laugh. The situation is horrible but God doesn't care if you laugh once in awhile. It actually gave me hope in my heart that you can laugh again.