pregnancy wish
I wish someone could tell me what to do. I wish someone knew what I should do. Today, I feel like going to a psychic...though I don't believe in them...I wish I did.
I could be pregnant in the next month. I probably won't be. But I could. And I want to. But I don't. I just wish someone would say to me, 'Kim, you need to do this. It's going to be O.K.'. or 'Kim, are you nuts? Seriously? There's no way this is going to end well. Just give up already.'..
I wish I had a genie and 3 wishes. But then again, I would probably feel guilty about asking for resolution in my own life, when I should be asking for world peace or an end to persecution or slavery.
Ugh....I'm a mess. Most of my life I'm a pretty chill person. I don't need definite plans nor do I need to be placed on a specific course. But this path I'm on, sucks. I want off. I want the easier path. I want direction and I want to know the outcome. IF I get pregnant...those 9 months will S-U-C-K. Can I handle it? If we lose another child, could I handle it? Will another loss seriously, kill all the joy I have left? And if so, what will become of Asher? He needs me. He needs me healthy and happy. Am I biting off too much here?
Where is my genie? Anyone have a bottle I can borrow?
I could be pregnant in the next month. I probably won't be. But I could. And I want to. But I don't. I just wish someone would say to me, 'Kim, you need to do this. It's going to be O.K.'. or 'Kim, are you nuts? Seriously? There's no way this is going to end well. Just give up already.'..
I wish I had a genie and 3 wishes. But then again, I would probably feel guilty about asking for resolution in my own life, when I should be asking for world peace or an end to persecution or slavery.
Ugh....I'm a mess. Most of my life I'm a pretty chill person. I don't need definite plans nor do I need to be placed on a specific course. But this path I'm on, sucks. I want off. I want the easier path. I want direction and I want to know the outcome. IF I get pregnant...those 9 months will S-U-C-K. Can I handle it? If we lose another child, could I handle it? Will another loss seriously, kill all the joy I have left? And if so, what will become of Asher? He needs me. He needs me healthy and happy. Am I biting off too much here?
Where is my genie? Anyone have a bottle I can borrow?
Comments
We can do it together -- and be scared out of our minds together..
I think that you would be ok in the long run even if you did have another loss. You have SO much love for Asher, its amazing to see. You have it pouring out of you all over the place! You have a great (for lack of a better tern) perspective on how much a mother can love her child.
I'm sending so many hugs your way. If there is ever anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask.
~Leesa
You know I don't say it lightly ,but it sounds like another biological child is the desire of your heart.
From what I've read here, I *know* you will always wonder if you don't just go for it.