Future endeavors

I've been thinking about my life as a babyloss Mama for along time now...three years actually. I know that want to help people. I always have. I guess I figure that I was taken down this road for a reason and I want to be able to honor my girls with something good. Since losing Jorai, I've wondered what I could do, but nothing really seemed to take root. I am making a website that will be up...sometime...and I lobby for stillbirth legislation when I can...I also have plans to talk to local hospitals about their baby loss procedures...but I've always wanted to do more. But what?

Another babyloss friend of mine made this amazing penpal program site to link up people who have gone through similar losses and I'm simply amazed by it. It's so cool. And it's unlike anything else I've seen before. After seeing her site, the quest to find something I can do and that fits me, got even more intense.

And then one day I realized that I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I love people. I want to love on those who have gone through a loss or multiple losses. I know what it's like to lose one child...two children. I also know the fear of being pregnant after a loss. I love pregnancy. I love birth. I love breast feeding...

I'm going to become a doula and maybe a lactation consultant!

It's not going to be for a little while. I want to be home and focus on my family when they're young...but when this baby growing within me turns 2ish (hopefully!!!) I think I'll start the process.

I want to give free services to those who have gone through a loss as well as talk to the hospitals and make myself available for people who come to deliver a still child or a child who won't make it. I of course want to take on happy, healthy, "normal" clients as well, but my focus will be on babyloss parents.

When I was pregnant with Asher, we had a team of two extremely lovely ladies who were always there to keep me at ease. Unfortunately, Asher had different plans and decided to come running out of me, so we didn't have our doulas there for the delivery. But they came after and I loved having them. One of them even came when I was in the hospital delivering Selah, as she just happened to be driving through town. Having her there was wonderful. I will always hold them close to my heart. And now, I want to give others, what they gave me.

I'm so excited! A part of me wants to start now, but for now, it's not time. But someday soon...I'm going to become a doula! YAY!