emotional rollercoaster
I'm having one of those days where my anger is getting the best of me. It's been an emotional few days. I've been really worrying about the baby. He's normally a mover and shaker but for the past few days he's been pretty quiet. I've been checking his heartbeat and everything seems to be hard and steady , but I still worry.
So maybe it's my heightened emotions that are allowing my anger to peak, I don't know...maybe it's just a frustrating day. I just know that Asher's disobedience has been very trying for me today.
He's really been testing me. I tell him to stop and he runs. I tell him to stop doing something and he continues to do it. I ask him to come and he runs the other way. Today it was away from the car and through a parking lot. I know part of it is that he has friends who are runners. They'll just take off. No amount of yelling will bring them back. And he's just emulating them. I used to be able to yell 'STOP!' and Asher would stop cold...but now, he runs...just like his friends.
How do you train your children that a certain action is unacceptable in one household but OK in another? And how can a 2 year old even understand that concept? It's hard. You want your children to play with others and enjoy their friendships, but at the same time, their friends can ruin all the 'training' you've just accomplished. It's such a balancing act.
Anyway...today I yelled at him. I spanked him. I grabbed him by the arm multiple times. He just wouldn't listen. And with him running away, and me pregnant, I lose it. I feel horrible. It's been one of those fun, yet horrible days where I'm sure he went to bed thinking his mama hates him since the entire day I spent yelling and disciplining him when all he was doing was 'having fun'. Days like this make me feel spent and a horrible example of a mother.
It will be a lovely day when my hormone levels are finally back to normal and my emotions are in check. I just feel so crazy some days with all the hormonal changes, fear, anxiety, guilt, hurt, heartache, love, laughter and hope all flowing through me at the same time.
So maybe it's my heightened emotions that are allowing my anger to peak, I don't know...maybe it's just a frustrating day. I just know that Asher's disobedience has been very trying for me today.
He's really been testing me. I tell him to stop and he runs. I tell him to stop doing something and he continues to do it. I ask him to come and he runs the other way. Today it was away from the car and through a parking lot. I know part of it is that he has friends who are runners. They'll just take off. No amount of yelling will bring them back. And he's just emulating them. I used to be able to yell 'STOP!' and Asher would stop cold...but now, he runs...just like his friends.
How do you train your children that a certain action is unacceptable in one household but OK in another? And how can a 2 year old even understand that concept? It's hard. You want your children to play with others and enjoy their friendships, but at the same time, their friends can ruin all the 'training' you've just accomplished. It's such a balancing act.
Anyway...today I yelled at him. I spanked him. I grabbed him by the arm multiple times. He just wouldn't listen. And with him running away, and me pregnant, I lose it. I feel horrible. It's been one of those fun, yet horrible days where I'm sure he went to bed thinking his mama hates him since the entire day I spent yelling and disciplining him when all he was doing was 'having fun'. Days like this make me feel spent and a horrible example of a mother.
It will be a lovely day when my hormone levels are finally back to normal and my emotions are in check. I just feel so crazy some days with all the hormonal changes, fear, anxiety, guilt, hurt, heartache, love, laughter and hope all flowing through me at the same time.
Comments
Bless you mamma!
Wendy p