'Final' resting place
I've always hated those words. Final? Really? I don't know...and I've always hated urn's. The ones a normal person can afford look like tombs and the kid ones are usually boxes with angels or fairies or butterflies or worse, teddy bears on them. I just don't get it. The cool ones, ones that are art, fused or blown glass, artfully carved boxes...they all run upwards of $1000 +. All for about 2 tablespoons of ash.
There's a part of me that aches to have something nice. I mean, it's for my daughters. What does money matter? But then I think $1000? For that? Really? My child just died and your going to make that much money for that? It urks me.
A few months after Jorai passed, I found a proper container for her ashes. I actually found it at a normal store and I believe it's just a little decorative storage box. But it's pretty and red and shiny and it fits in with it's surroundings. It doesn't have huge arrows pointing to it saying 'look over here...at me...yup...here are the ashes!!'.' It's pretty and I love it, yet it's understated.
For the past year...nearly...I've been trying to find something for Selah and I just can't find it. And now, I want both of their containers to go together a bit. I want them to sit together and compliment one another. But I've been at a loss. I can't find anything.
But then all of a sudden last week, I thought, Jorai's container is big enough for both...what if I open her's up, and place her sister in with her so they can be together? I talked to Steve about it and he liked the idea, but I"m still not sure.
For all my baby-loss mama friends out there, what do you think? There's a part of me that wants 2 individual containers, one for each of my girls. I want the world to know I have 2 daughters, I want them both on my piano, separate. I want to honor them both in their own space. But I also think it would be cool for them to be together. They're sisters and what better place for them to be than to be together. Forever.
In the end, I also want to be cremated, after the doc's use up my body as best they can, and then I want my ashes to be placed in a casket with Jorai and Selah and Steve...and any other family member that passes. I want us to be together, as one.
And really, I guess it doesn't matter as I believe this flesh is just a shell and we'll be together in Heaven...but still. For now, how do you, if your child(ren) have been cremated what do you do? Do you think it's wrong to open up Jorai's 'resting place' and place her sister inside?
This really shouldn't be such a difficult decision, but for some reason it is. It's probably a normal reaction to the death of a child. But it's hard. And with her birthday coming up in a month, I just feel the need to place her in a proper spot, rather than have her continue to sit there in that white plastic box.
There's a part of me that aches to have something nice. I mean, it's for my daughters. What does money matter? But then I think $1000? For that? Really? My child just died and your going to make that much money for that? It urks me.
A few months after Jorai passed, I found a proper container for her ashes. I actually found it at a normal store and I believe it's just a little decorative storage box. But it's pretty and red and shiny and it fits in with it's surroundings. It doesn't have huge arrows pointing to it saying 'look over here...at me...yup...here are the ashes!!'.' It's pretty and I love it, yet it's understated.
For the past year...nearly...I've been trying to find something for Selah and I just can't find it. And now, I want both of their containers to go together a bit. I want them to sit together and compliment one another. But I've been at a loss. I can't find anything.
But then all of a sudden last week, I thought, Jorai's container is big enough for both...what if I open her's up, and place her sister in with her so they can be together? I talked to Steve about it and he liked the idea, but I"m still not sure.
For all my baby-loss mama friends out there, what do you think? There's a part of me that wants 2 individual containers, one for each of my girls. I want the world to know I have 2 daughters, I want them both on my piano, separate. I want to honor them both in their own space. But I also think it would be cool for them to be together. They're sisters and what better place for them to be than to be together. Forever.
In the end, I also want to be cremated, after the doc's use up my body as best they can, and then I want my ashes to be placed in a casket with Jorai and Selah and Steve...and any other family member that passes. I want us to be together, as one.
And really, I guess it doesn't matter as I believe this flesh is just a shell and we'll be together in Heaven...but still. For now, how do you, if your child(ren) have been cremated what do you do? Do you think it's wrong to open up Jorai's 'resting place' and place her sister inside?
This really shouldn't be such a difficult decision, but for some reason it is. It's probably a normal reaction to the death of a child. But it's hard. And with her birthday coming up in a month, I just feel the need to place her in a proper spot, rather than have her continue to sit there in that white plastic box.
Comments
I could never 'pour' out their ashes and see remains still stuck to the plastic. How could I just throw the rest away? So I never took them out of their 'baggy'.
For me, togetherness of my children is very, very important.
xxx