decisions, decisions...

Two Fridays ago, when I originally had the induction talk with my doc, who was the one originally pushing for it, I was really apprehensive. I was stuck between two scares. One, that my child will flip back into breech position in the week + that I would wait to go into natural labor...and two, having a medicated, rushed labor that was never in 'my plans'. But after a ton of thought and a full week of major apprehension and worry that the baby would flip back into the breech position, I knew that being induced on Friday/Saturday was the best decision for us.

Now that my induction isn't even scheduled until Tuesday @ 4pm, I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. Tuesday @ 4pm is only three days until my due date. So is it even worth it? 3 days? I mean, it would be horrible if the babe flipped within those three days, but what's the possibility of that? I'm assuming the baby is super engaged by this point, so would he flip?

Having an non-medicated, non-induced delivery was my plan all along. I would prefer it, both for me and the baby. But then I think...what if. What if the baby flips...what if the cord gets too tight and what if...I'm not going there... So I just don't know. Should I go through with the induction? Or should I cancel it and let this child come in his time? It's such a hard decision. And I know in the big scheme of things, this shouldn't be so hard. It shouldn't make me so apprehensive...but it does. Oye!

Hopefully this babe will just come before Tuesday so I don't have to make this decision!

Comments

David said…
Praying the baby comes before Tuesday! I will also pray for wisdom with these hard decisions if the baby doesn't come tomorrow. Thinking of you and your family.

Cindy Agnew
Mirne said…
Stop worrying about how you will have the baby. The only important thing is that you and the baby are and will be healthy. Do not let others make you feel that you should do or feel more or less. Do not create expectations for yourself that may leave you disappointed. I chose inductions for Kees and Jet because I could not cope with the stress of waiting, especially after Freyja's stillbirth. But at the end of the day, all I wanted was a healthy living baby. That's all that matters.
Phoenix Rising said…
Thanks Cindy.

I know Mirne. That's what I keep telling myself. The problem is that I'm scared my baby will die within me if I wait, or will be hurt in the induction process if I go in tomorrow. You know how it is. Constant worry. I should shut up and just do it...but its the nerves and anxiety. I'm up all night, every night worrying. It sucks. I think because of that, I'm going ahead with the induction. I feel like I'm worrying myself to death!
Heather said…
Kim, you are an informed woman and Steve will be there to help. You know the questions to ask. If the prostaglandins *don't* work, then you can always choose to go home at that time *if* you change your mind. If not, then you will be able to make decisions and ask questions as you go. Take it one step at a time. Remember that your instinct is a powerful tool. You are listening to it and that is so important. Forget what everyone else says and just listen to your heart and Steve's heart. I am wishing you some peace and am envisioning you holding that baby in your arms. I can't wait to see who you and Steve have made this time. And, if all else fails in getting you some sleep, try some Benadryl. It has saved some women in their last stages of pregnancy in the past. Sending you Light, Love and many, many hugs. -Heather

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