close to my breaking point
i hate being so close. so close to losing it. my emotions are right at the rim, ready to spill at any second. i'm exhausted. i feel completely depleted of rest. after an amazing week of sleep, we have now finished off a week of wakefulness. each night since last saturday has gotten progressively worse. last night, asher woke every hour. every. single. hour. i'm not functioning anymore and my emotions are ready to explode. i'm seriously to the point of letting his wail it out, and for those who know me, that's quite extreme. the boy has never cried it out before. not even for 3 minutes. but i'm there and that makes me sad.
on top off the no sleep and crazy emotions, our washing machine has broken, our car has broken and i found out that the thing the dentist wants to give me for my teeth grinding problem will cost $300 after insurance, so i'm not going to get that. and the icing is that all my friends and my husband are whooping it up at the riv christmas party, and i'm at home sitting in sweats, hungry, with a headache and alone because since my child hasn't been sleeping, he's a royal crank.
i really don't mean to be complaining or feeling sorry for myself. i know i'm truly blessed with an amazing husband, a usually rockin' son, a supporting family and good health...but i just feel so downtrodden right now. so steamrolled. i always look forward to the riv party. it's always a great time. and i just feel as if i'm missing out right now. and thinking about the money we'll be shelling out for the car and washer and whatever else comes our way, just freaks me out.
have you ever just had one of those weeks filled with crap? my thursday was fun and right now my house is silent. those are my positives right now. now i'm about to have my hundredth turkey sandwich since thanksgiving and a dozen or so peppermint chocolate cookies before heading off to bed.
on a positive note, my mom just called to tell me that they want to buy the washer for us and we can pay them back so we won't have to pay interest. yea, mom and dad! i feel so looked after. now if they could just get my child to sleep!
on top off the no sleep and crazy emotions, our washing machine has broken, our car has broken and i found out that the thing the dentist wants to give me for my teeth grinding problem will cost $300 after insurance, so i'm not going to get that. and the icing is that all my friends and my husband are whooping it up at the riv christmas party, and i'm at home sitting in sweats, hungry, with a headache and alone because since my child hasn't been sleeping, he's a royal crank.
i really don't mean to be complaining or feeling sorry for myself. i know i'm truly blessed with an amazing husband, a usually rockin' son, a supporting family and good health...but i just feel so downtrodden right now. so steamrolled. i always look forward to the riv party. it's always a great time. and i just feel as if i'm missing out right now. and thinking about the money we'll be shelling out for the car and washer and whatever else comes our way, just freaks me out.
have you ever just had one of those weeks filled with crap? my thursday was fun and right now my house is silent. those are my positives right now. now i'm about to have my hundredth turkey sandwich since thanksgiving and a dozen or so peppermint chocolate cookies before heading off to bed.
on a positive note, my mom just called to tell me that they want to buy the washer for us and we can pay them back so we won't have to pay interest. yea, mom and dad! i feel so looked after. now if they could just get my child to sleep!
Comments
just let "this too shall pass" be your mantra at the moment. i feel you, mama. i have been there (heck, i AM there!).
Leesa is right, babies know how to manipulate very early on. It's innate because they need it for survival, but a lot of times they cry simply because they want the attention, not because anything is wrong. I always thought of it this way: if I go in and give him the attention he's begging for, he won't get the sleep he so desperately needs, and the sleep is what's most important right now.
It's a hard thing to do but I think it's worth a shot. With Luke I used to set a timer and promise myself I would give it 5 minutes, sometimes 10 or 15, before I would go in to get him. Most of the time he ended up falling asleep before the time was up. He very quickly learned to use his pacifier (and thumb, eventually), blanket, and lullabies to soothe himself to sleep.
I'll be praying that God gives you an extra dose of mother's intuition with this whole sleeping dilemma.